…but you’re ok…

Racism…

I don’t really think I’ve ever been a victim. Well, there’s not any real incident that I can recall in my 40 years on this planet, that makes me fume and think, “How offensive! Someone’s just been racist to me!”

Then I think a little deeper. It’s not always just cut and dried, is it? I can clearly recall a conversation at 6th form, when the girls in my class were 16-18, starting the whole pub/club social life, and a certain girl, who I always got on well with, was commenting on the cab drivers they always seemed to get. “And they are always those greasy p***s! [to me] but you’re ok!”

All through my school life I was a minority. In a private girls school, and for most of the time, I was the only coloured skinned girl. A meek, quiet little Sikh girl. I’d never experienced any differentiation from my classmates and friends, though as we got older, most assumed that Ritu wouldn’t be out in the evenings (which was true, I was a good Indian girl!)

So, that comment, I laughed off, saying that geographically that was incorrect anyway, I was not Pakistani! And then I didn’t really think much of it… But, some people may have taken extreme offence to the comment.

Again, cultural stereotyping hit when I went out with some old work colleagues for the first time. So, we were showing party tricks, and when it was my turn, I, ahem, showed a lovely way of folding your napkin, to make it look like a male appendage (flesh coloured napkins made it all the more effective!) and someone exclaimed, “Ritu! We thought you were a good Indian girl!” Well, actually, yes, I am, but I’m also human too, born and bred here in the UK, grown up with the same surroundings as your average Brit ( with the Indian/Kenyan masala thrown in!)

I’ve always been taught to be a tolerant person, educate the ignorant. If someone has a question, however silly, about my culture or religion, I’m happy to answer it, if I can. I’d rather someone felt they could come to me and ask why my ‘people’ wear those things on their head, or what am I wearing that bangle on my wrist for? Or my favourite, ” How come you have so many uncles/aunties/brothers/sisters?” (Extended Indian family! A great thing! One to post about later,me thinks!)

My best friend, and someone I think of as a big sister, is Muslim, and over the years we had many comments thrown our way, about how come a Sikh girl and Muslim girl could be so close… Why not? I’d ask. We’re all human. I don’t check people’s cv’s before befriending them! Her family are like my own, (yes, I know, as if my extended family isn’t big enough already!) and when I go there, I respect their beliefs, as she does ours when she’s with us.

After 9/11, again, I didn’t really feel any negativity, but my Dear Pops, with his turban, had a few small incidents, where the ignorants assume all turban wearing Sikhs were Muslim like Bin Laden. And my brother, with his huge mixed bag of friends, seemed safe, out and about. Had he been in a group of Asian lads though, it might not have been the same.

Maybe we’ve been out, and someone has thrown an off colour remark in our direction, but I think selective hearing just kicks in, as I just tend to smile at the person and carry on whatever I’m doing.

So, have I experienced racism? I’m not sure… Ignorance definitely, but with a smile and with my words, I hope I have helped some people along the way, educated them so they don’t ‘tar’ all communities with the same brush used for a select few (extremists anyone? From any/every religion/culture)

Your thoughts….

Hugh’s Photo Challenge Part 2: “What’s In The Cupboard?”

Week two of Hugh’s photographic challenge. Check it out here!

Open up your cupboard door
Show us what’s in there
Is it full of knick knacks
Or like Mother Hubbard’s? Bare?
Take some time and post a pic
And link it back to Hugh
You never know… if you’re lucky
He might just Instagram you!

This week I was thinking I might not take part! My cupboards are such a mess, I’d be embarrassed to show you!!!

Then I remembered that there was something pretty special in my own wardrobe, that I would share with you.

wpid-2015-10-20-21.29.08.jpg.jpegIt’s a total mess, I am sorry! But along the top shelf.. now that is where the special stuff is! I know it states in the challenge, a cupboard that is hardly opened… well I don’t have one that is hardly ever opened, but this particular shelf, I don’t rummage around very often, so I hope it will do!

When I was young, my mum had a space in one of my wardrobe. a shelf which was chock full of beautiful jewel coloured shawls  Gorgeously soft and warm woollen silk shawls in all the hues of the rainbow, and even displayed like that too, sorted into the different colours.

She would choose the right one to match what ever she was to wear, when we went out, and I was so excited when I was deemed old enough to venture into this shelf myself, and borrow one!

I went to India to do all my shopping for my wedding, and the place we did a lot of the buying from, well they more or less adopted us! They directed us to all manner of places, and got us discounts for plenty, but for my mum, the icing on the cake was when they took us to a pashmina shawl warehouse! Seriously, I cannot describe my mother’s face when she saw these amazing shawls! A warehouse full! Kudos to her though, she was pretty restrained.  She bought 4-5 and tried to convince me to get a whole load, but I was trying to be sensible… we had already spent a small fortune on clothes that I wasn’t sure I would ever wear!

I bought about 4, the basic colours that would go with everything, and one special pure pashmina for my wedding day, as I was getting married in November, so it would be cold.

What this has to do with my cupboard picture?

Well as I said, along the top, haphazardly, and nowhere near as organised as my mum’s, are my shawls. My collection has grown over the years, and I have some beautiful ones.

But the special ones… I am very sentimental and the ones that are the most precious to me, are two shawls, one that belonged to my maternal grandmother, and one that belonged to Hubby Dearest’s maternal grandmother.  I won’t wear them, but knowing I have them makes me feel close to two very special ladies on our lives.

wpid-2015-10-20-21.30.40.jpg.jpegMy Grandma’s is the one on the left, my Hubby Dearest’s Grandma’s one is on the right.

If I feel the need, I can take them out and smell them, and remember those fine ladies, those wonderful souls who aren’t with us anymore.

So there you have it… my cupboard secret!

What’s in your rarely opened cupboard????

But I Smile Anyway...

Flashback Friday!

You know when you think back to your childhood, there are always certain things that stick in your mind, memories, stories, people, books, toys… all things that were really important to you.  Some things were premonitions of the future too!

I already detailed my love of books as a child, in a series of posts, including Enid Blyton, Roger Hargreaves, Roald Dahl, A. A. Milne, Ann Jungman, and Dr Seuss, amongst many others.

When I go home, I love the fact that my mum is as sentimental as I am.  She keeps so many of the things associated with our childhoods.  It gives me such pleasure to see my own children playing with the things that my brother and I loved as children!

As you will have seen in some of the author posts, she kept many of my books, which my kids love to read now, and so many of our favourite playthings are there too.  From Duplo Bricks, to Matchbox cars, my Cabbage Patch dolls, to treasured teddies, they’re all there!

But what I will focus on right now are two toys that I had, that now my Lil Princess loves to play with.  They are both toys that almost indicate my future and personality!

The first is this,

My Fisher Price Play School!

My Fisher Price Play School!

You know I was always going to be a teacher, don’t you!  and Lil Princess brought this back with her after our last visit, and loves to play schools with it!  I actually can’t believe that all the pieces are there, in tact, and all we needed to get was some  new chalk so she could use the chalk board!

The other toy I found, which is due to celebrate its 39th birthday, as I was given it on my first birthday, is this.

My Fisher Price First Telephone!

My Fisher Price First Telephone!

Yup, this is definitely me, I talk far too much, and a fake phone was exactly what I needed, to stop me chewing everyone’s ear as a child!  I haven’t stopped now, as an adult. The only difference now, is that I know not everyone wants to listen to me constantly, so I channel my babblings into posts for you, my lovely Peeps, to read  instead!  And as I always say, if you really don’t want to listen, you don’t have to read!

But, back to my flashbacks… it is great to be able to share my special toys with my children, and yes, that phone (not that specific one!) was even featured in Toy Story 3!!!!

As the children get older, they will play less with certain things, but fear not,  I have a beautiful Finnjabi nephew (Half Punjabi, half Finnish!) who is still a baby, and getting to the age where he will start appreciating these things too!

Did I mention we still have some original Star Wars figures too…? Maybe I should photograph them too!

#TBT Throwback Thursday

As I creep closer to that milestone birthday… (Shhhhh! Four – oh!) it would be silly not to reminisce, and sat at home with my parents… Well that’s a perfect place!
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A 6 month old Ritu!!!
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Ritu hitting her first year!
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Sweet sixteen!!!
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Forget Educating Rita, I give you… Graduating Ritu…

Yes… All these pictures proudly displayed around the house!
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Oh and a bridal Ritu too… A BIG milestone!!

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And just in case you forgot… That’s the Ritu of the present! 😜

But I Smile Anyway...

Mother’s memories

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I’m home, with mum and dad, and the first thing mum did, after lunch, was to get her old sarees out, from her wedding… Beautiful silks, chiffons, embroidery and prints.

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“I’m not being morbid,” she says, “but let’s go through things, so I know what you like, and , you know, when the time comes, there’ll be a package of stuff for you, that means something!”
Sarees from her wedding, with stories behind many of them too…

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See that green embroidered one? She was taken to the shops by her in laws to choose something. She fell in love with that one. It cost 600 /= Kenyan shillings… About £6 in money now.
She was told it was too expensive, but, rumour has it, Pops was there and overheard the exchange…
Miraculously the Saree appeared in her gifts after the wedding.
She is convinced he went back and got it, and when I asked Pops today, he just smiled, and said I remember the conversation…
Romance isn’t dead, see!!!

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And then we found the top from her wedding outfit… It looks as sparkly as is it were new!

I’m not morbid, neither is my mum… Sharing the stories behind the outfits means when I get old, and want to pass them on to my daughter, there will be some meaning to everything!

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Then she pulled this one outta her box of tricks… A framed poem my parents had given me as I entered adulthood…
Another one to pass on to my little madam… When she grows!
I ❤ family 🙂

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And just needed to slip this one in too!
❤ you mum! 😘

But I Smile Anyway...

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