What is ‘Family’? #ThrowbackThursday

An old post I wrote a while back that I felt like giving an airing to!

 

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Over my life time I’ve seen many different types of family, and I’m lucky to be part of a huge, crazy parivaar (Punjabi for family) where there is no lack of love and laughter. But where you get a great amount of people, there are always going to be fallings out, and that one person, or maybe more, that you cant stand!

I think we can all relate to that!

As I said, I have been blessed with this gigantic extended family, and they took up most of my childhood,  every weekend we were together, be it at a wedding, a party, or just at each other’s houses for dinner.  It was character building to say the least, I was the youngest girl cousin on my Pops side out of a good 20, or so, cousins so was spoilt by many, but there were the odd ones who may not have liked the attention that being the youngest afforded me… still, I was brought up well, and wouldn’t make a fuss, I just got on with life.   Then on the flip side, I was the oldest grand child on my Mum’s side, so I had a different stature there!  The ‘Big Sister’ role!

But it’s my immediate family who I will always be thankful for.  A father who did everything for us, to provide us with a stable upbringing, and still catering for the other families needs. A mother who was there for us, at every step of our growing up, she didn’t even follow her chosen career path, choosing to be a full time mum to us, supporting us, helping us, bringing us up when we were down, grounding us when we were too big for our boots. A brother who was the biggest irritant of my life for the first 15 years, but then morphed into one of the most trusted individuals in my life. Then beyond, his wife, my sister-in-law, who is the sweetest person I know, who has also moulded the raw man that was my brother into a most amazing husband, and fantastic father too! And not forgetting my precious little bundle of laughs, my baby nephew!

Talking of husbands, around 14 years ago, I suddenly had a new branch grow onto my family tree, and I acquired new parents, another brother, and another whole new extended family, through my husband!

Hubby Dearest, well he is my rock, and thanks to him  (and a little bit of me) we created our own family, with the additions of Lil Man, and Lil Princess, and the ability to love unconditionally grew considerably in both of us. These two little people, here on Earth because of us, and looking up to us to nurture them, and hopefully encourage them to grow into strong, independent individuals with heart.

But is that all family is? Blood ties, and marriage?

I don’t think so, personally.

I seem to have little pockets of ‘family’ elsewhere in my life, my school ‘family’, my university ‘family’, my work ‘family’, my friends ‘family’, my WordPress Blog ‘family’…

Each of these groups of people have as much of a profound effect on my daily life, as my real family do, in their own way. They are all as important to me, and as essential to me being who I am today, as my parents were. The experiences I have shared with them over the years have also shaped me as a person, and made me the Ritu you see before you.

So, what is ‘family’ to me?

I think the true definition of family is those people who help to shape you as the individual you are today.

Written in response to RonovanWrites #BeWow writing initative.

But I Smile Anyway...

Homework? Aaaargh!!!!!! #MondayBlogs

 

I am revisiting an older post of mine today purely because yesterday was murder with Lil Princess’s homework! It wasn’t an elaborate project or anything like that, but trying to work on a page full of long multiplication, when a child doesn’t get it… It is tough!

I am not the world’s best mathematician. It was never my strong point, but I am keeping a growth mindset on this one… I will not allow my negative thoughts towards times tables reflect upon my kids!

We worked on it, but blood, sweat and tears were shed whilst completing it!

Enjoy my musings from a few years back!

 

It’s the stuff of nightmares!!!!!

“Yes, the poor children…so much homework, from such a young age…” I hear you chime in alongside me, but do you know what?

I ain’t talking ’bout the kids, its the parents I’m sympathizing with… Actually, not sympathizing with, because I’m one too… We all stand together and scream, “Aaaaaaaarrrrgghhh!” This particular nightmare was meant to have left my life after I finished studying! I didn’t know having kids meant I have to do homework again!!!

Now, I don’t mean your bog standard nightly reading, times tables practice or even spelling, I can cope with that, it’s just…

Every Friday, or every other Friday in Lil Princess’s case, I tentatively open school bags, fearing what piece of paper will float out of there, or what delight is stuck in the ‘Home Learning’ book!

What outlandish piece of research are the children to do this time, then make into a ‘creative, interesting, visual piece of writing/model/leaflet/book…you get my drift!

You know there are parents who don’t bother, theirs are the kids who have to go to homework club shamefully the next week, as they ‘didn’t do it!’

But the thing is, sometimes, this creative homework, though fantastic, and yes it really does help the kids reinforce learning whatever their topic at school, it’s just toooooo much!

I think that this kind of homework is ok once in a while, while kids are still at primary or junior school, up until 11, but every week… It’s almost impossible! What with various after school commitments with the kids, we only really have the weekend ‘free’ to do said homework… And, excuse me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t weekends be for family time??

Kids are tired after a week of learning, and working as an Educator, I know how much these little tykes are expected to do during their academic day. It’s no wonder they can be cranky little sh*ts after school, especially when younger!

Now some children LOVE homework, I kid you not! Lil Princess begged for some once she saw her brother getting it, and now she does too, she attacks it with relish! But Lil Man, would hide his if he could, he HATES it!

So why am I bothering with this post? Because most if this homework cannot be done by the child alone, they need supervision, and guidance from the parents to do it, and especially with the little projects, it can become a HUGE deal!

If it’s going to be done, you want it done correctly, so it ends up becoming the parents homework, just as much as the child’s!

Hands up who’s guilty of becoming demon mum/dad trying to get your child’s homework just right.. I know I can be like that, but I do make sure the kids are doing it, not me… It’s just I have to oversee EVERYTHING!!!!!

It would be a personal slight if he/she handed in anything sub standard… And as we line up on Monday morning, and you see other parents, the smug faces of those who have done their child’s homework too, I mean who’s CHILDREN have done their homework, is apparent!

Large flashy models, or very elaborate posters, whatever was asked for, are brandished by the children…

Just can’t wait for next week. What mark did I get…? Sorry, I mean what mark did my child get…?!

School Halloween Disco Fun!

It was the School disco today.

After the rushing around, having forgotten to set my alarm, I wasn’t sure if I’d have the energy, because it was not one, but two discos!

We have one for the younger children and one for the older ones.

Being a Reception teacher means my pupils were attending the first one, and my daughter, as an older pupil, was attending the second, so it meant another nearly 12 hours at school!

But it was fun. The kids enjoyed it, and I must admit that I had a bit of a blast too, dancing with all my babies!

Of course a Halloween disco is not complete without a bit of dressing up…  and I decided this year I would not go all witchy, but feline instead!

I promised to share my dressing up…

Here’s me, in all my filtered and unfiltered glory!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Ba9w8qBDbvA/?taken-by=phantom_giggler

We Made It! #AtEase

It’s Friday!

But not just any Friday…

For plenty of individuals, it is a Friday we have been crawling towards… the end of the existing term!

The kids are excited. It means a week (or two for some!) off and away from school! Yes there may be homework, but the pressure of getting up and going in is not there!

And us teachers…well, when I say we crawl, I mean it!

This first half term of the academic year is always tough. Settling in new pupils, getting to know them. setting boundaries and rules, assessing… it is a tough slog.

I know I personally have  found this last term extremely exhausting, with my new responsibilities, and a lot more children to get to know. Names are never a problem for me, I have learned 70 new ones so far, and it looks likely that I need to learn another 30, if only for a short while, next term! But, the downside of having so many children to be responsible for, I don’t feel I really ‘know’ them yet.

Still, I have made it through this term, with no days of complete meltdowns, (well, not mine, some of the kids however have had a few!) and look forward to a few special days during my week off.

My only worry… when we come back from the break, all the progress we have made with our littlest ones will have been forgotten (believe me, it doesn’t take much for young children to forget what they were doing before!) and so the cycle will continue to roll, with us having to re-settle them, but hopefully only for a few days before they remember what Nursery and School is all about!

So, I am off to start my last day (for a week at least) and then enjoy a week of relative freedom!

Enjoy your Friday Peeps!!!!

 

#SoCS September 30-17 – do/dew/due #SundayBlogShare #teacherappreciation

Linda’s #SoCS prompt this week, hosted by Dan Anton of No Facilities blog!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “do/dew/due”. Use one, use two or use all three. If you start and end with two of them, you get bonus points. If you use all three AND start and end with two of them, you get Linda’s bonus points plus, I’ll match hers – from me to you. And, lest we all forget – Enjoy!

 

Do you ever really thank the teachers of your children?

Are you really fully aware of what an educator, especially nowadays, has to do, over and above the basics of teaching a child to read and write?

I am writing this, (not so) fresh after an absolutely crazy week, filled with crowd control, rather than interaction, being bitten, listening to children use in inappropriate hand gestures and language, trying to teach them how to listen, use manners (please and thank you – forgotten words!), coping with children who have absolutely no respect for their elders, instead, laughing in your face when you are trying to explain to them that they are doing something wrong, and trying to give children who have NO CLUE about English a few words to help them settle in. And these children are all three!

Surely, before you send your child off to a place of learning, you would want to ensure that, unless there are special needs, your child has the basic etiquette of knowing how to listen for a short while at least, a few simple manners, and some understanding of sharing?

Like a plant needs the morning dew to quench it’s thirst from the night, in order to grow stronger, children need a stable foundation of good social behaviour before going to nursery or school.

An I wrong in thinking that that is something that is meant to be given to them at home, so they are able to learn as they come to us?

Instead, we spend the lion’s share of the time, trying to teach socially acceptable behaviour, and anything academic gets chucked out of the window. Then as the year comes to an end, we are questioned as to why children aren’t already writing their names/able to count to 10/trying to read words… Well, sorry, but if the majority of man power we have is being used to stop tantrums and fisticuffs, getting down to the nitty-gritty of ‘teaching’ is a tad hard!

And I truly feel for the children whose parents have instilled good ethics into them.  Those who can’t be given the attention they truly deserve, because we have to try and give the others the skills they haven’t acquired at home!

We do try to. Of course we do. If I had a majority of children with at least these basics, then I could really do what I want, which is to give them a solid foundation to their educational career. Instead it is a minority, I’m afraid.

And then, this continues to be a problem if we are trying to teach children values at school, and they are not reinforced at home.

Sometimes it feels like we are fighting a losing battle.

So, I ask again, have you recently thanked your child’s teacher?

If you haven’t I think you need to go and give them their due!

 

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I think I deserve Bonus points and MORE this week!!!! Phew!

 

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