Tidbit Tuesday | But I Smile Anyway...

Tweenage Tidbits -Dry Humping and Pre-Marital Sex #TheBirdsAndTheBees #TidbitTuesday

01 May 2018 80 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Dry Humping, Sex, Sex Education, Tidbit Tuesday, Tweenagers

You must have known this post was coming.

After announcing that we had, as parents, received that letter, this post was inevitable.

Lil Princess has finally started her PSHE topic for this term, namely Sex Ed!

Of course, she knew all about it, apparently!

But it has sparked plenty of girl to girl chats between us.

She tells me they’ve had another embarrassing chat every time the subject is covered.

So, they’ve covered anatomy, inside and out. And that in itself has caused plenty of giggles.

She’s learned about what puberty means for both a girl and a boy, and is obsessed with working out what an Adam’s Apple is!

She’s desperately searching for changes in herself, almost wishing it to happen now!

But today was funny.

“Oh mummy, we had to watch a video today. Like, I saw how they make a baby! My teacher said it’s enjoyable! Ew!”

Er, what?

I’m not sure that should be part of the conversation!

A little later, she mentioned the video again. “So like they were just there, like, doing it. All of a sudden, they were dry humping-”

Wait, what? You are ten years old girl, what do you know about dry humping, or humping, in fact?

“I don’t know,” she said, “One of my friends whispered to me that that was what they were doing!”

So, do I correct her, and explain the difference between dry, and usual humping?

We had a little conversation…

Then she explained her teacher’s comment about enjoying ‘it’ too.

“Well mummy, he said that it had to be an enjoyable thing, otherwise the human race would be extinct!”

True dat.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I don’t know how he knows anyway, it’s not like he’s married yet or anything…”

Still a little innocent regarding pre-marital sex, and that is something I shan’t correct, just yet… She’s still my baby after all!

Tidbit Tuesday – Bikini Beards – And A Tribute… #ThrowbackThursday

05 Oct 2017 48 Comments

by Ritu in Humour Tags: Bikini Lines and Beards, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Tidbit Tuesday, Vagina

This is a bit of a sad introduction to my Tidbit post today. My Leibster Meister, Rib Rob of The V-Pub Blog, who introduced me to the Tidbit Tuesday posts has decided to wave goodbye to the blogging community here. It saddens me.., I know not his reasons, was it something someone on here said? Or personal reasons? Either way, I respect his decision, but will miss his presence in my blogily greatly. This silly Tidbit is for you Rob!

I don’t know if I’ll have it in me every Tuesday, now I know you aren’t going to be participating, but if I do, I’ll remember you every time…😘

So, here goes!

(Advanced warning, its not too graphic, but a bit detailed in areas!)

Now, I have had this lovely infographic holed up in my media file for a while, not knowing when to share it… and then I thought Tidbit Tuesday! What a perfect time to give it an outing!

It’s a pretty accurate representation of what seems to be happening to that little land in ladies undies, and and the facial h-area of the male of the species!

Where we are becoming less groomed and more bald, and vajazzling also… he is preening and shaping, oiling and brushing!

I have to say I have never kept with trends, I stick to the simple groomed look, neither too much nor too little. I had an experiment with ‘barely there’ but it was far too time consuming, keeping the look… (I understand men’s problems with the 5 o’clock shadow now!) Oh and then, I was far to shy to have it waxed by someone else, so I shaved… and HECK was it itchy!

I remember someone telling me her experience of getting a Brazilian, before her wedding… it was a treat for her new Mr to be… and she felt almost degraded, having to lay in awkward positions so they could get everywhere! Then when she visited the loo for the first time after, instead of having something there to channel pee downwards, she ‘sprayed’ the whole of the inside of the bowl, and felt like she was 9 again! Pleasant!

And we have the men, lots of faces obscured by great big bushy beards! It’s funny but it seems that because the beard is in, young Sikh lads are suddenly not ashamed to keep their facial hair, and even turbans, because the look is cool!

Incidentally, if you liked this, you might enjoy my lovely education on vagina facials!…. My mum tends to read most of my posts, and she is most proud of me, but she said she wasn’t sure this was particularly becoming… I said this was where our age and generation gap showed… to me, and my readers, it was hilarious!!!!!!

Have a titillating Tuesday!

Oompfh!! Tidbit Tuesday

01 Sep 2016 80 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Boobs, Mishap, Tidbit Tuesday, Wonderbra

I thought I’d treat you to a #tbt post from last year… a bit of a ‘boob’ I made in my youth….

Before you ask, no, that is not me!

But the lovely lady is wearing something that features in this Tidbit Post!

I decided today to recount a funny episode in my younger life… its not saucy (sorry!) but it was embarrassing, and pretty funny really!

I have always been blessed with, ahem, curves up top, much to the chagrin of some of my flat chested cousins on my paternal side, but hey, I got ’em, and being a good little Indian girl, I wasn’t about to flaunt them, you know, cleavage on show for the world! Still, growing up, I definitely wanted to make the most of myself, and when they first came out I treated myself to a Wonderbra, and Wonder-ful it was too! A great support and boost and it enhanced said curves, under clothing. Yes, I was happy!

Wearing my special enhancing bra one day, I was attending a wedding. I had on a lovely new outfit too, and I was feeling good! The wedding passed, no problems, then it was the reception. Party = dancing, and if there is a dance floor, and music, you will find there is usually a Ritu on there too! Today was no different, and I was shaking my Eastern ass to the bhangra beats that were pumping, with my cousins.

One of my much older cousins came to join us, and when I say older I mean much older than me, like my Pops age. This was a normal occurrence, we all like to party together! Suddenly, he dipped down to the floor, and came up waving an eye shaped pad, dancing with it, and asking what it was…. and where it had come from. Well we all shrugged our shoulders, and carried on dancing.

A few moments later, I popped to the ladies, and as I peered down I noticed something…. something eye shaped and padded, peeking out of my neckline. Something that was suspiciously like the ‘thing’ my cousin had been waving around on the dancefloor.

On further investigation, it appeared that Wonderbras have secret compartments where there are these little additional pads of Oompfh! And guess what? When you naturally have that Oompfh!, then these little pads are obsolete. So much so that your own Oompfh! actually manages to work them out of their little pockets, and deposits them on the dance floor you have been gracing! So that’s how one had escaped, and this other one had been caught mid breakout!

Well, needless to say, I didn’t go and claim the rogue Oompfh! pad from my cousin, or wherever it had ended up, and I realised that I didn’t really need Wonderbras, but control bras, to contain the natural Oompfh!

Naughty, natural Oompfh!

Tidbit Tuesday – Coitus Interruptus – shout out to all you parents!

12 Jan 2016 165 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, coitus interruptus, kids, Parents, Sex, Tidbit Tuesday

Mums (and dads) out there, you all know what I’m talking about…

Lights finally turned down low, you might have even prepared in advance with a fresh shave, new lingerie… Or more likely, you’ve realised that tonight, you actually have a soupçon of energy left, after a busy day of mum chores, and well, it’s about time you gave your man access to his marital rights… It’s been so long, you’re not actually sure things are still working down there, so time to check it out.

You give your partner the sign, the nudge, to let him know you are ready, willing and able, and hopefully he’s not already fallen asleep, used to the reccurent knock backs!

Ok, so now it’s time to get the party started! You kiss like teens, and get ready for the Main Event. And it’s all systems go!

Oh you forgot how good this feels! There, right there! Yes! That’s it, a little more!

And then it happens. You know what I mean. That little creak, that far too familiar sound of a certain bedroom door opening and closing, and footsteps. You have timed this before, so fast as lightning, you pull apart, clothes restored, and that caring voice comes into play… “Aw sweetie! What’s the matter? Bad dream? Let’s tuck you up again.”

Peace and tranquility restored. You go back to the Main Event, hoping to finish what you started. You know you’re on a time limit so, fast as lightning you get back to getting jiggy, hoping to reach the climax you require, before any more interruptions. Sometimes it happens, and all is well, you are both sated, and a further uninterrupted night follows. Or other other happens… Your midnight visitor comes back… Twofold this time because the other one woke up too!

“Mummy, Daddy, I can’t sleep, I keep on hearing noises… There’s a ghost moaning in the house!” ( note to self, silent sex is a much better idea when kids are in the house!)

Defeatedly you throw open the covers of your bed, resigned to no more action that night…

But can I just say, a much more scary notion now… One child has had The Talk at school, and kinda knows what it’s all about! Can you imagine him/her computing this situation, with a whole load of new information to colour his thoughts! No no no!!!

I shall sign out here on this Tidbit Tuesday, and let you ponder on these thoughts….

But a tip… If you want an uninterrupted night of passion…. Get rid of the kids! Send the kids to their grandparents for the night! Though saying that, often, when this does happen, I’m asleep before I know it, grateful for the chance of a full night’s uninterrupted sleep!!!! Poor Hubby Dearest!!!!

Tidbit Tuesday – Intimacy

15 Sep 2015 33 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, intimacy, Tidbit Tuesday

Seriously, this is the most intense form of intimacy that a couple can encounter, when there is no need for sexual contact, but you can feel the connection, that pull.

It’s short and sweet today, but I’ll leave you with a smooch classic!

https://youtu.be/SUxaTd-siOU