But I Smile Anyway…

It’s not the presents that matter, it’s your presence.

Kids… they can pretty much always have a list a mile long, of things that they would like for Christmas.

Take, for example, my kids.

Lil Princess, at 7, seems to add things that she desperately NEEDS on a daily basis. (Not that she will get it all!)

Lil Man is a little older and wiser, it seems, at 10. He has requested 2 things, and is not bothered about getting anything else… they would just be bonuses.

But still, when you add it all together, we are looking at £3-400 worth of stuff, if we got it all. And if we did get it all, would that make us the best parents in the world?

No.

It would make us one of a growing number of parents who, having been working to support our family, feel the need to give our children everything they asked for, to make up for not being there all the time.

I’m seeing this on a daily basis now, working in Nursery. And unfortunately this trend of giving all, and giving in, is not helping our younger generations to develop at a normal rate at all.

Parents giving kids as young as 1, tablets or phones to play with, to keep them quiet, while they get things done.  What they are doing, is robbing their children of precious time they could be spending together, talking, developing their children’s speech, and personal skills. Instead, we get children who have no idea how to communicate, as they are stuck with the  electronic version of a dummy to mute them.

Or those parents who have a mere hour with their children daily, as they are at work. It is much easier to let them do what they want, give them what they are moaning for, it saves your ear drums, and, makes that short time with your child much more pleasant. No tantrums.

Then those who have the time, but can’t take the initiative to introduce their children to society.  Play groups, play dates, activity clubs.  All these places give a child a chance to socialise, and bond with their peers, and realise that the world doesn’t always revolve around them.

We have so many children in our nursery who are only children. They don’t even have another small person at home to bounce off of, and to create relationships with. So when they come to us, and are faced with 19 other little people, vying for the adult’s attention, and having to learn that they can’t get everything when they want, it can be frustrating.

But going back to the children and their electronic dummies… This issue probably worries me the most.  Constant use of things like the TV, Phones and Tablets to keep the kids busy, meant that they may be hearing words being spoken, but they are not being spoken to, and there is no encouragement for them to talk.  Hence the amount of kids operating at maybe a year, if not more, younger than expectations.

It’s not just the speech that is an issue.  Constant use of these devices, mean that children are not given pencils, pens and paper.  Therefore they struggle to even hold a pencil or pen at school, their fine motor skills are grossly lacking.

All this holds them back, seriously.

So when I say don’t lay such an emphasis on presents, but try to be there for your child, give them your presence, I mean you will be giving the biggest present anyway.

Talking to your little one, you can give them a rich vocabulary, reading to them, you can teach them so much.  Getting those colouring books out, or pens and paper, scissors, glue and glitter, may be messy, but it will help to give your child skills that they can’t do without as they grow up. Play some games with them, encourage turn taking, and show them they may not win every time, but that it is the taking part that counts.

I hope I don’t sound like I am preaching, but I feel so strongly about this issue, and it is heartbreaking to see how many kids will be labelled as ‘failing’ expectations, because we, as parents, think we are doing the best thing, when in fact hearing ‘no’ isn’t a bad thing, heck, screaming strengthens their lungs! (Just invest in ear plugs!)

Peace out Peeps! Carry on enjoying your festive season!