#SoCS June 8/19 – Life Balance

Linda’s #SoCS prompt this week is a repeat, but looks, likely to become a repeat offender, in a good way!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “open book, point, write.” Pick up the closest book to you when you sit down to write your post. Close your eyes, open the book, and place your finger on the page. Whatever word or phrase your finger lands on, write about it. Enjoy!

I am currently reading a coupleof books, which is a bit of a shocker, as I am not am multi-book reader usually, but I have a novel my Karen McQuestion – From A Distant Start – on the go, and a positive thinking book, Unlearn, by Humble The Poet that I am dipping in and out of.

It was Humble’s book that came into my hand first…

… and the words my fingers came to rest upon were ‘balance in life’.

Kinda freaky, as I have been talking to my Hoppalong Hubby Dearest about balance recently. More accurately, work/life balance.

That’s a big thing, nowadays, isn’t it?

The pressure to do better, perform better, get things done perfectly, do it all better… it’s upon us all in some way.

And increasingly, you might see couples not really leading a couples life, but fleetingly meeting in the mornings, and hardly talking in the evenings, busy with work related things, and too tired to interact in more than the most basic of greetings and goodnights.

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You hear of families who, even though they are traditional two parent families, find one parent, often the mother, feeling like a single parent, because, despite working herself, the other half is laden down with work pressures, and is barely able to make an evening parents evening, let alone help with the school run once in a while.

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There are those professionals who haven’t even got either of the above to balance out, as their work takes up so much time, that a social life, or time for themselves is so limited.

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Work/Life balance.

Afre we working to live or living to work?

  • I love my job. I truly do.
  • I love my family. More than my job.
  • I love my writing with a passion.
  • I love my friends.

Why should one have to give?

So, here’s what I do… I compartmentalise. And I find shortcuts!

The first hour of my day is devoted to getting things ready for everyone, then relaxing with a cuppa, watching the news and catching up with notifications and emails.

Yes, I am in work early, very early, by 7.45am. Yes, I can be still there at 5.45pm… but only on three days. The other two, I’m out by 4pm

During the day, I will take a break, but I will also make sure I am doing all that needs to be done to prepare for the rest of the week, to make my life easier.

I make sure that, apart from report writing, and the odd time I need to make resources, I bring no work home with me at all.

At home then, I am wife and mum. I’dd do cooking and housework. I’ll help with homework. I’ll nag (because all good wives do) and I’ll have fun with my family.

Then, once everyone is all set, my evening time is mine to choose what I do with it. Read, write, watch tv, iron (I do love a bit of steam pressing) whatever takes my fancy!

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I will arrange nights out with friends. I will go and see family. I will not let work tip me over the edge, even though it is easy to do.

We were discussing it as an opportunity may arise for Hoppalong, where he could go for a role which is more prestigious than his current one, but will involve more stress and pressure, and possibly more time. He compares himself to his MD who is literally on work mode 24/7.

You know, if it works for his MD then fine, but there is no need to be like that. There are always ways to balance things out.

Sure, when you start hight pressure jobs, the need is there to be a little more work, a little less life… but once you are settled, there is the chance to bring that balance back.

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Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 223

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Spidey apologises…

He found a quote but I can’t get the energy to put it up.

Not feeling very well, so I hope to be back up and running soon.

#BookReview Poetic Rituals @RituBhathal #Poetry #TuesdayBookBlog

When a beautiful review of your book has you in happy tears, first thing in the morning!
And who knew…. My words turned someone to poetry!
Thank you to my dear friend Lucy ❤️

Head on over and leave any comments there 😊

One Word Inspiration #OneWordInspiration #OWI

I set up a new twitter challenge today… (because, you know, I have nothing better to do! 😜)

And thought those of you on Twitter, or even those not, might like to take part!

It’s a one word challenge.

One word to inspire a tweet-length (240 characters) story!

Head over to my newly renamed twitter profile to follow and join in!

@ritubhathal

Have fun creating!

Stories For South Asian Super Girls #BookReview @PinkLadoo @Rajo_rani

I know I have been reviewing books on a monthly basis, but sometimes a book comes along with a background to it that just begs to be singled out, and I came across such a book this week.

I was extremely excited to take delivery of this inspirational book, by an equally inspirational woman.

Raj Kaur Khaira is a British-born, raised in Canada woman of South Asian descent, Sikh by religion.

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At ten, she was horrified at the reaction to her sister’s birth by other family members, who were saddened that there wasn’t a boy this time.

Over the years she became a true activist for women’s rights, and her interest in the harmful impact of sexist South Asian and non-South-Asian customs and traditions on both boys and girls spurred her on to do something more.

Raj founded The Pink Ladoo Project in October, 2015.

Pink Ladoo

This project was a mission to encourage families to celebrate the births of their little Princesses, as well as their little Princes.

Traditionally, at the birth of a boy, orange sweets called Ladoos are distributed to family and friends, yet nothing for the birth of a girl.

But why?

The Pink Ladoo Project strives to challenge this belief, and they asked for Indian sweet makers, and families to make/purchase/order pink ladoos, so that the arrival of a girl could be celebrated equally. Pink, not just because of the Western link with girls, but also because the colours pink, and red, signify Strength, Power, Luck and Celebration in our culture.

The Project has taken off hugely and there are many thousands of followers. It not only lauds the births of girls, but also celebrates and shares stories of female empowerment, from the story of a mother giving away her daughter at a wedding, to an occasion when three granddaughters carried out the traditionally male ritual of carrying the casket at their’ grandfather’s funeral.

I truly applaud this practice and have my own personal story to share…

When my mother was due to give birth to her first child, she was in a country away from her own family, the UK, so her mother flew over from Kenya to be here to support her.

The pregnancy hadn’t come about easily, or as quickly as some wanted, but finally, the big day arrived and so did I.

A girl.

My Pops was overjoyed. He was the first one to hold me as I had been born by c-section. I was his first child, and the first thing he could truly call his own.

My mum and grandma were so happy too.

Except, joy was marred when a woman arrived at our house, pretty much mourning the fact that I had been born a girl, especially since my grandma had flown all this way…

My Pops gave her a piece of his mind and told her she should be ashamed, being a woman herself, saying those things.

He went on to give sweets out to the family, even though eyebrows were raised, as 43 years ago this was not the done thing… But that’s my Pops. ❤

They went on to have the prodigal son, my brother, and no one complained then!

When my own first child was born after a long struggle with fertility issues, a boy, my mum did whisper to me, “We were happy with what ever grandchild you were going to bless us with, but I am secretly glad it was a boy, so no one can put any pressure on you at all…”

They would never think negatively, but were so aware of the thinking of the majority of the community.

I went on to have my Lil Princess, and actually, she was celebrated by everyone, as the first girl in two generations within my in-laws family, so her arrival was a blessing of a different sort!

Ritu

Read more about the Project here.

From this project, for Raj, the idea stemmed to create a collection of phenomenal South Asian women, from the past, as well as the present, to inspire the South Asian Super Girls of today.

What a fabulous idea!

Raj collated the details of many women, some already known, some lesser known, but no less inspirational, and created this collection of biographies coupled with some absolutely fantastic artwork from a team of amazing South Asian women artists.

What I loved about this book was that each woman is discussed in short snippets, easy for a child to digest, and at the end, there is a page for the girl herself to write her own biography, and draw her own fantastic portrait, because we all have it within ourselves to be Super Girls!

Lil Princess is reading it now. I devoured it in a sitting, and learned about women I had admired in the past, as well as some I hadn’t heard of. From the old school royalty of India, Noor Jahan, Jhansi ki Rani and Razia Sultan, modern day celebrities, like Jamila Jameel, Lilly Singh and Meera Sayal, we are introduced to Pritam Kaur Hayre, a woman who emigrated to Canada at 50, and with no English, helped to gain rights for workers on farms, and was even vice president of the Canadian Farmworkers Union, and Jayaben Desai who also instigated protests against the working conditions in factories, and so many more.

I thoroughly recommend this book as something for all South Asian young girls, (and older ones too,) to readm as well as women from outside of the Asian community, as we definitely need to be reminded sometimes that the Female of the species is pretty damned special!

Honestly, I think each school should have a copy of it!

And there are so many more out there…

I want to mention our home grown Super Girl, Sukh Ojla, who is an extremely funny female Indian comedienne who also talks about her own anxiety and depression via her Social Media…

And within my own life, I count my own mother as a huge inspiration to me. She has taught me so much about life, and how to live it to the fullest. Her greatest advice to me was to “never lose yourself” and she has been there, my biggest supporter in my blogging and writing adventures too.

So, if you want to see a review by me, here you go…

Stories for South Asian Supergirls

Stories for South Asian Supergirls by Raj Kaur Khaira My rating: 5 of 5 stars
An absolutely wonderful, inspirational collection of biographies celebrating the South Asian superwomen out there, some already known and some lesser-known, but no less inspirational.
What a brilliant book to show our girls what they can aspire to be!

And it is available to purchase far and wide, in major book sellers, and from Amazon too. Click here to purchase.

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