But I Smile Anyway...

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 389 – Wedding Fun!

21 Aug 2022 31 Comments

by Ritu in Spidey's Serene Sundays, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Spiderman, Spidey, Spidey's Serene Sunday, Weddings

“I always cry at weddings. They’re beautiful and I’m always moved.”
Jennifer Westfeldt

Thank you, Spidey, for a lovely quote!

We attended a wedding, yesterday, after quite a few years, what with lockdown, covid, etc.

I love a good wedding.

We used to attend them all the time when I was growing up, but less so, since I got married, as my Hubby Dearest’s family is quite small in comparison to mine, and also because we are further away from my family, now so attending all the weddings is not feasible.

Anyway, back to yesterday.

As I watched sever parts of the marriage ceremony, I felt a different emotional pull at certain points. The time when, in our Sikh ceremony, the bride’s father stands up and takes one end of the palla, or scarf that is draped around the groom’s neck and hands it to his daughter, signifying that you are now going to be walking together, through life with this guy, and you won’t be my little girl anymore.

I had tears in my eyes, not because I was thinking of myself, but it hit me that one day Lil Princess will be in that position…

This time, I really listened to the granthi, the priest, as he recited from the Guru Granth Sahib at the time of the ceremony and the words of the inevitable uncle-ji who stands up and gives a sikhya (speech or set of lessons about marriage) and I thought how his message hadn’t changed in all the years I’ve been attending marriages, but equally, I also dug deeper into the ‘advice’ and how it wasn’t always promoting the equality that Sikhism is based on.

The bride was addressed and was advised to compromise on things that weren’t to her liking because that’s the best way.

The groom was told to be a Man, providing for his family.

(Simple contraction of a 15-minute long speech!)

It made me wonder what the younger generation would think as they listened (because the guy spoke in both Punjabi and English).

There are more youngsters who might not look outwardly Sikh or fully baptised, but many are more versed in the ins and outs of our teachings, thanks to some fantastic people out there who you can follow on Social Media.

And some of those words, said in respect and blessing, could be looked upon as interpreting the words of our Gurus in their own way, and putting the bride at home and the groom to work, rather than the equality that our religion actually speaks of.

It shouldn’t all fall on the groom’s shoulders to provide.

Neither should the compromise be just the bride’s sacrifice.

I can hear these words being said in a different way, to me on my own wedding day, and I never really thought about the implications. Today, as a much more grown-up woman, it made me pause, and think, “What advice are we giving our young couples? is it the right thing to say?”

Marriage is a compromise. 100%, but the compromise should come from both parties. And you can work, together, as a couple, to fulfil your life dreams.

I am going to stop rambling because I have to go and get ready for the wedding reception, now!

But, before I leave, how have your thoughts on marriage changed over the years?

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

#SoCS Aug. 20, 2022 – Key

20 Aug 2022 18 Comments

by Ritu in #SoCS Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Keys, Linda G Hill, Socs

Linda’s SoCS prompt.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “key.” Use it as a noun, a verb, or use it metaphorically. Have fun!

When using a hotel keycard, it is key to know which action you need to open your door.

Gone are the days of simple metal keys inserted into locks, then turned to enter your room.

A few years back your keycard needed to be inserted too, into a little slot. A light came on telling you that the lock had been deactivated, then you could step in, but not forgetting to pop your keycard into the dock by the door, to get the lights and electrical amenities working.

Then there were ones you swiped, rather like a debit card wipe.

Yesterday we were at a hotel, and they have upped the game once more… you just tap the keycard on a panel on the room door and it lights up, ready to let you in!

Of course, it is easier to misplace those cards…

But then again, proper keys go missing, too, don’t they?

We had a case when not one set, not two, but three sets of car keys complete with house keys went missing…

We began to think a poltergeist had taken up residence in the house, but then we found said poltergeist, in the form of a giggling 2-year-old Lil Man, who had found the stash of keys left on the dining table, reached up, took one and dropped them behind the radiator! It was such fun, he felt around and took any others he could find, and did the same!

And they all got stuck behind the radiator panel, so we spent an evening trying to fish them out with bent hangers and all sorts!

Reminds me of a time my mum recalls, hearing tiny me giggle randomly one day, and following the noise to find me in front of our small fridge in the kitchen, door open, with a puddle of broken eggs on the floor. I took one at a time from the egg shelf in the door and proceeded to break around half. adoze, because it was such fun to see and hear them break!

I will be 47 in two weeks, yet to this day, my mother has never kept her eggs in the fridge!

And, likewise, our keys are always hung up now, and never left on the table!

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 20, 2022

Throwback Thursday #52 – Transitions and Modifications

19 Aug 2022 12 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, throwback Thursday

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Maggie at the helm!

This week’s prompt is: Transitions and Modifications

Think about your first haircut. Were you the kid that cut your own hair? Did you go to a salon or did your parents cut your hair? Did your parents save a lock of your hair? As Sikhs, we aren’t supposed to cut our hair, appreciating and being grateful for what God gave us. However, we are not fully baptised in our family. When I was about 6, I had a real craving to get my hair cut, and so my mum took me to the hairdresser, and I had my first page boy cut! My dad cut my brother’s hair for the first time, and that was painful for him, as my father has always kept his hair and worn a turban, but felt the pressure to do it, so my brother didn’t get any bullying as he grew up in an area that was predominantly white. One silly story of me and my hair is that I wear convinced I had too small a forehead, so I took a bunch of hair from the front and snipped it clean off at the scalp, thinking no one would notice… Er, they did And, then I had a fountain of sprouting hair growing back, soon after!
How about shaving? Fathers often teach their sons to shave. Most girls I know, decided for themselves when to shave their legs and their underarms. Some cultures do not shave at all. Again, line the above, we aren’t supposed to remove any body hair, however, the majority of us who aren’t fully baptised do. I think my mum got me an electric razor first, but I also experimented with hair removal cream, waxing, etc over the years. And eyebrows and upper lip threading!
Did you alter your clothes? Cut jeans into cut-offs? Cut the sleeves off t-shirts? Wear graphic tees? Tie-dyes? Sew patches on your jeans? Not really. I was pretty simple growing up!
Was there a time you remember challenging the authority in your household? Do you remember the first time you found your voice? I wouldn’t have dared as a child! But as I grew older I learned how to stand up for my thoughts and beliefs.
What about piercings? Girls getting their ears pierced was a rite of passage for girls. Then boys started getting one ear pierced. As time passed, piercings became more mainstream and accepted. I had my ears pierced, just those one set for each ear, and they are still just like that. I was around 8, I think.
Did you walk on the wild side? Smoking? Drinking? Did your parents know? Shhhh! Okay, so there were a few drinks, as I went to Uni, but nothing more…
What about tattoos? Did you get a tattoo while still living at home? Did your parents approve? Nope. No tattoos, but I do think about it now!
What about language? Was swearing allowed in your family? Did you use the same language around your friends as you did at home with your family? Nope. No swearing was allowed but as I got older and learned more Punjabi naughty words, it became fun to sprinkle them into conversations with people who didn’t understand!
Think back to high school. Girls, did you iron your hair? Did you colour your hair? (using Sun-in counts!) Guys, did you grow a beard or moustache? Did you grow your hair long? Feel free to share a photo of yourself back in the day. I have naturally curly hair but didn’t even realise it was curly until I was 16, because it used to be brushed out and plaited all the time, or left in a frizz ball! Straightening wasn’t a thing, for me until uni! And Sun in… er, yes, but not before uni!
Many people think our authentic self is the person we were as young children. Are you still inherently the same person you were as a child or have you changed your personality and demeanor along the way? I think. I am the same, but I have just become more confident and able. to stand up for myself and my beliefs more. The benefits of getting older!

Okay, so three times in a row was my limit, here we are on Friday, again, but be glad… I am off to a wedding and squeezed this in before we leave!

Throwback Thursday #52 – Transitions and Modifications

One-Liner Wednesday – Covid Spread

17 Aug 2022 45 Comments

by Ritu in #onelinerwednesday Tags: #1linerweds, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging

“First wedding to attend in 3 years… and I can’t fit into any of my clothes!”
Ritu Bhathal

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds

The Hedge Witch and The Musical Poet by @Marjorie_Mallon #BlogTour #NewRelease

17 Aug 2022 14 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories

Today I welcome my friend Marjorie Mallon to the blog to talk about her new part poetry/part fiction release, The Hedge Witch and The Musical Poet.

The Hedge Witch & The Musical Poet is a collection of poetry and flash fiction celebrating the beauty and the vulnerability of the forest kingdom. It begins with the poetic tale of the kind-hearted Hedge Witch, Fern, who discovers an injured stranger in desperate need of her woodland spells and magic.

The sweet pairing learn from each other and through Fern’s guidance, Devin embraces the power of magic to leave behind his troubled past to become The Musical Poet.

Poetry/flash fiction titles in section one of the collection include:

The Hedge Witch & The Musical Poet, Rain Forest Love, A Forest Baby Boy, A Forest Baby Girl, A Modern Witch, Rock of Mine, Chester Don & I, The Network of Trees, More Trees Not Less, Two Boys Watching War, Mum Climbing Trees, Let’s Play, The Scorched Tree, Owl’s Holiday Home, A Man’s Holiday Home, A Child’s Excitement, The Teddy In The Woods, Run! The Organutans, All Hallow’s Eve Candy Girl The Forest Bash, Dreaming At Halloween, A Face on Bark, Golden Willow Tree, Rainbow – Parasol of Light, Lollipop Sunshine Tree,

In Section two I pay tribute to the following poets: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline, Ruby Archer, King Forest, Bliss Carman, Woodland Rain, Emily Dickinson, Who Robbed the Woods, Rupert Blake, Stopping by The Woods on A Winter Evening, Oscar Wilde, In the Forest.

With my poetry inspired by their works:

The Forest Weeps, The Forest King, Raindrops and Childhood Dreams, The Woodland Treasures, Winter Woodland Moon, Child Me.

Amazon Kindle buying Link: https://books2read.com/u/mv1OeV

Paperback to follow.

Cover and Formatting by Colleen Chesebro’s marvellous new formatting service, more about that here: https://unicorncatspubservices.wordpress.com/my-services/

My Review

The Hedge Witch & The Musical Poet by M J Mallon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A beautiful book inspired by, and a nod to, the mystical and the natural world around us.
Marjorie Mallon has used fiction and poetry to craft a selection of flash fiction for the first part of the book, about the Hedge Witch and the Musical Poet, as well as other scenarios interspersed with verse.
The second section is devoted to poetry inspired by various famous poets.
A lovely book to delve into when you want a little slice of magic.