But I Smile Anyway…

A year. It’s been a year since Covid-19 really hit the world, can you believe it?

I’ve got my drink, though it may get cold, as I’m back in school, but hey, you get comfortable and I’ll tell you about my week.

• If we were having chai I’d tell you that this week, in school haas been truly surreal. firstly, it was amazing to have all our children back in school. I only had one child who wasn’t in, as they were sheilding. To see their little faces light up was so precious. The love and affection we received, made me emotional. It’s been a week of settling back in and the beginnings of assessment, to see how they have fared, emotionally as well as academically over this last bout of Remote Learning. We had very few tears, thaankfully. Mainly beaming smiles, and lots of funny stories.
• If we were having chai I’d have to mention, thought, that there have been detrimental effects over the lockdown for a few. I have several children who are undergoing observations and investigations for Special Educational Needs, and, for some, this lockdown has not been great. Lack of routine, and familiarity with how we learn at school, coupled with parents trying their hardest, but not knowing how to teach certain aspects (which they shouldn’t be expected to, as they aren’t teachers) has left some huge holes. But that is our job, now, to give these kids what they need.
• If we were having chai I’d have to admit to breaking down a little, though, on Thursday. One child is really suffering, hugely, and we are desperately fighting for a diagnosis, and some support for him, as are the parents, who recognise their child is struggling. This child is unable to recognise or control emotions, and can be deliriously happy, one moment and then ready to blow, with anger, the next. We’ve had to send him home four days out of five, as I don’t have a spare staff member to be with him all the time, and when he does struggle, it needs more than one adult. He’s getting violent, too. On said Thursday, despite setting out a reduced timetable for him, he couldn’t cope, and after shoving three classmates, I had to physically restrain him, gently, and cope with being punched, spat at and kicked, while he slowly calmed down, all the while, trying to ensure the rest of the class were safely inside their classrooms. It’s not the first time that week, this child necessitated the class being evacuated due to the safety of others. Once calm, we had to send him home, as he was being physically violent. After he left, I sat down to work with a group of children, and the resources needed, weren’t ready. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, to be honest. I felt like a failure. One child causing so much disrruption, and affecting the learning of twenty nine others, (and another class of twenty nine’s also, on two occasions). Tears threatened, as I struggled to open books and hastily prepare the books for learning. This is where I was more grateful than ever for the strong, caring team, I have working with me. My TAs sent me away with my cup, to get a drink, and calm down, taking over the class. My head found me, and reassured me, these things weren’t my fault. We now have an emergency Ed Psych coming to see this child, hopefully to get some help for him, and us, so we can help him as best we can. Once again, so thankful for my wonderful team, and grateful for everyone around us that trys to help children with needs like these.
• If we were having chai I’d admit, it’s been a tough week, so I wasn’t even able to go for a walk, daily. But, being in school meant that my step count has hit over 10k, no worries, every day! On top of the emotions of school, my knee started to really hurt again, so for two days I didn’t want to risk straining it further. But I ate sensibly. And we managed a couple of walks, at least. On Saturday, I met with a friend, and despite being rained and hailed on, i clicked this pretty picture. Mother’s Day, we managed a 3.3 mile walk, too!

• If we were having chai I’d let you in on a secret. I only managed to read one book this week. And that is testament to how tough the week has been for me. Usually it’s two or three, at least! 
• If we were having chai I’d have to mention Mother’s Day. Sunday was Mothering Sunday in the UK, and, even though I did wake before the others to feed the cat, I was joined by Lil Man an hour later, and he made me breakfast, after taping a message and menu on the kitchen door, stating I wasn’t to do it myself, as he was treataing me! We then waited for the rest of the household to get up, and headed off on a driveby visit to my mother in law, to drop cards and a present to her, and the kids aunt, my sister-in-law. They always honour her on Mother’s Day too, as she does a lot for both my kids. Breakfast was just the start. I was spoiled with some new cosy slippers, a new mug, and a beaautiful bookmark, as well as an Indiaan Afternoon Tea! I had been saving myself, because I knew there would be extreme calories consumed! And it was wonderful. I was still stuffed seven hours later!

This week, I am hoping for a calmer week at school but I’m not holding my breath! To be honest, I can’t see beyond school, right now, so anything else that happens in life would be a bonus!

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