“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few mintues, including you.”
Anne Lamott
Thanks, Spidey. I think we all need that timely reminder. I’m sure we have used this quote before, but it is such a good one!
There have been days, recently, when I have felt as if I am scraping the barrel to get the enthusiasm and energy required for daily life with a bunch of 4-5-year-olds, and then to deal with home life too. Oh, and as Perimenopause to the mix, along with not being able to get my HRT!
It’s not been easy, I have to say. Without going into details I have to say that sometimes, it feels like going in to work has been the calmest place, and if you have ever worked in the Early Years, you’ll realise the enormity of that confession.
Still, here I am. I’m still functioning. Still doing what I need to do.
I get asked by those of my friends and family who know the ins and outs, how I am coping.
It’s simple. To me, anyway.
There are times when I have to put myself first.
Not selfishly.
But I need to make decisions that will help me get through.
The first is to lessen the unnecessary pressures I put on myself.
I want to write. Sure I do. But with my brain not having the bandwidth to create, right now, I don’t force myself.
If I haven’t cleaned the house from top to bottom, I don’t beat myself up.
If I have had to order a takeaway or stick a ready meal in the oven, so be it.
And the second is to make time, even if it is only a short while, to do the things I love.
So I’ll read (lots, as you know). It may only be for a few minutes a night in the week since I am physically and mentally exhausted from work, but I’ll make up for it on the weekend.
I’m exercising, for me.
I have my weekly soak in the bathtub.
I try to meet with friends, away from the family, once in a while.
I’ll spoil myself with a little gift.
Because I need to feel that I am worth it, too. Only then can I get through everything else.
So, Peeps, what is your favourite form of Self Care?
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “perfection.’” Use it any way you like. Enjoy!
Do you strive for perfection?
Always seeking satisfaction
Of that perfect photo
Or the perfect word
The perfect recipe
The perfect song heard...
Or is good enough, enough?
Will it get you by?
Do we need to lower standards
To decrease the pressure
And ease our mental health?
Perfection is a thing of beauty,
When it's presented to us
by Mother Nature
It shows perseverance
If we achieve it
By ourselves
Some things, yes,
They have to be perfect
But some can slide
Don't give yourself the stress
Ritu 2023
I started with one ARC left from last year… heaven knows how many others will follow… but, that TBR… it’s still waiting!
Okay, so I read a few more ARCS, but I did read some current books, too! And I brought myself to a grand total of 12 books for the first month. Not bad!
Okay, so this is my first read of 2023, and I finished it in a day. Tia is a young woman in her twenties in London, going through all sorts of angst about relationships, one specific one, and her place in a workspace that doesn’t seem to respect her ethnicity or many of those from minority backgrounds. I have to say I am glad that, as a reader in my late forties, I have a teenage daughter, so some of the language and slang used were more familiar to me, and even some of the pop culture references didn’t fall on deaf ears… Definitely, a book that Gen Z women would enjoy and appreciate, and if you are a little older, maybe a good one to read to understand a bit more about those younger than us since, even though we have been that age, life ‘then’ and life ‘now’ is very different. Many thanks to NetGalley and Random House UK, Cornerstone, Merky Books for an ARC.
Asha Patel is a young Indian American woman living in Paris, making her name as one of a handful of perfumiers. She’s on her way to the top, but Covid did on one her and robbed her of one of the most important senses in the world to her. After a slight crash and burn, she is sent off for a break and returns home with her parents in Napa. This story has many facets, including the strength of expectations on many children of Indian families. Asha and one of her childhood friends, Neel, are children of hotelier families. Businesses that have been built by grandfathers and passed down. The thing is, neither is interested in the hotel business. Sometimes it does take a person a while to pinpoint their true passion, and this is what happens for both characters. They have to swim against the tide of disappointment as they attempt to venture out into the world for themselves instead of following a much easier, well-trodden path with more of a guarantee of financial success and stability. Which is what their forefathers always wanted to leave as a legacy, Asha and Neel’s grandmothers live together after being widowed, and I loved their characters. a mix of pushy and supportive, they gave a much-needed sense of fun to the story. I enjoyed it. Many thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for an ARC.
I wanted to read more broadly, and MM romances ranked on the list of genres I wanted to delve into a bit further, so this coming up as a suggestion for me to read was a no-brainer. It starts with Max the ‘gay’ best friend of Paige. They’ve been GBBFs forever, literally. Since they were around six-year-olds. Okay, so the G may not have been in the acronym at that age, but you know what I mean. Paige is getting married and wants Max to help with all sorts of arrangements and to be her best man/man of honour, as you will. She also wants to involve the best man from the other side, Chasten, who is her fiance, Austin’s brother, and who also happens to be gay… hmmm, possible attempts at matchmaking?? The story pootles along, with a will they-won’t they angle to the romance, as well as Max’s angst at not really doing anything of substance with his life, and not being the stereotypical gay man, so he feels his input into Paige’s wedding is minimal, because he’s not into fashion/going out/the usual gay musical tastes/all the on-trend things that are happening out there. He’s stuck in a job in HR where all he appears to be doing is being the messenger and letting people go as his company cuts jobs. It’s a quick read, a little slow-moving at times, but easy. Many thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collins UK for an ARC.
The Bennet Women is an easy-to-read, interesting take on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, brought into the modern age, complete with true diversity. We have a Black female MC, a transgender character, and all manner of other folks, all battling through life in their own way. EJ, our MC, is pulled in two directions, with her goal-driven academic dreams vs A relationship that could lead to l.o.v.e…
Oh my goodness! Not quite sure what more to say than absolutely brilliant! So many parts that I could relate to, and plenty more I now know I have to refer to in future moments of perimenopausal hell! I have already said I would get this for another of my family members, and I would urge others who are nearing this time to find a copy to read. It is enlightening!
Not strictly a Rom-com, Mimi Deb’s book is more contemporary fiction, looking at relationships between family, friends, and romantically. Gia, the female MC, is on a work visa from India and is perilously close to losing the one job she has, which would keep her in the country due to some mishaps. One at the work Christmas party that she is convinced will be the final nail in her coffin. She has a close relationship with Ma, her mother, or MiMasa as she is entered in her phone, Probably more open than the average relationship between an Indian mother and daughter, but then, Ma isn’t your average mother figure, either. Gia writes a list of things she needs to do in the new year to make things better. Somehow the list ends up travelling to her local Indian takeaway, of which she is a regular customer, and the list sparks the start of a note correspondence with someone who works at Namaste London – Ben. Ben is the male MC, and he is struggling to find a place in the world that will fulfil his family’s hopes, as well as his own. They disapprove of his job at the takeaway, but given the struggles he has already faced in life, they don’t say too much… I enjoyed how the book was written, with the correspondences between the characters, as an end note to a chapter, or the beginning and the details of their lives, how they meet, and their lives intertwine as time progresses. It is good to read of a heroine not cut from the same stereotypical cloth as many, with Gia being a woman of colour and not a lythe, tall, ‘dusky’ beauty, but someone with the beauty that shines from within. Many thanks to NetGalley and Avon Books for an ARC
How do you rate someone’s memories? Spare isn’t a biography written by someone else, insinuating their own opinion upon the reader. It’s a memoir. Harry’s recollections (yes, written by a ghostwriter, but still, his own) of many critical moments in his life, from when he learned of his mother’s death to the present day when his Granny passed away. Yes, we all think we know what has been happening in the Royal family. After all, anything they do is all over the news, and social media, before a second has passed. But this candid book details Harry’s thoughts and the memories of his life. So many out there have already slated the book as a load of untruths. But it is stated several times in the book that he doesn’t have the best memory to remember conversations verbatim, and sometimes his recollections will be hazy. Still, the most crucial part of these memories, I felt, was that we could read his emotions. No one else but him can ever convey those. (Not even the ridiculous personnel who write and release everything to the press!) I read with a lot of emotion as he detailed his mental health. And this only highlights that mental health has no issue with who you are. If it wants to affect you, it will. The first section and the last were the ones I felt most engaged with. The army part? Not so much, but it was by no means less necessary. There were light moments and several mentions of situations involving his private parts and various injuries, which made me giggle a little. Who thought a Prince would write about his willy? And I don’t mean his brother, Willy! His younger years, when he was innocent and vulnerable, just made me want to cry for that little boy who could barely hug his family. His romance and relationship with Meg was another section that made me feel deep sadness for them. I felt for him throughout. But can I say that just because I have read it, I can’t make judgements on others featured in the book. I know these opinions are of one person, and as we all know, there are more than two sides to any story. Person 1, Person 2, the media and the truth! I have watched Prince Harry grow up. I watched his parents get married on TV. I stood with a line of schoolmates at the age of around 6, so we could wave to the newlywed couple as they did a drive-by through Solihull, where my school was. And the subsequent births of the princes, as well as the ups and downs of the relationship between Charles and Di. If I were to form an opinion, it would have been formed many moons ago. What was also highlighted was the fact that the press is ruthless. I am glad I read this. It is highly unlikely that we will ever read something so candid or intimate from any other Royals, but still… this opened our eyes to many facets of Royal life that none of us is aware of.
I loved Hart’s Ridge, Kay Bratt’s first book in her new series. Quite a departure from her usual genre of writing. Lucy in the Sky is the second instalment of the series, and, as the title suggests, the story focuses more on Lucy, the youngest of the sisters. Taylor is still the second POV throughout the book, and a common thread to hold onto from book one, as the oldest sister in the family. Lucy’s selfish character left a bitter taste in my mouth at the end of the first book, so it was good to read more about her and discover that she wasn’t as awful as I first thought. All she wants, in the beginning, is to get to New York and see the Dakota building where John Lennon used to live. She gets that and a heap more, as she is initially mistaken as a new dog walker for one of the wealthy residents. Suddenly she has a job, a roof over her head, and everything seems peachy… even the chance of a bit of romance, even though there is a ‘bump’ or two in the road where that is all concerned. As for Taylor, she is getting back into her work as a Deputy in the Hart’s Ridge police force after an enforced period of absence, but something she finds out from her father’s post sends her on a journey of discovery that will change her life and that of her sisters. Oh, and we can’t forget the dogs. First, we meet the two cute pups who Lucy starts walking, then there is Taylor’s dog, Diesel from the adoption centre, whom we met in book one, and he might be why she is on the road to romance herself… I love that each story has an element that is based on a real-life crime or situation that has happened. It makes each story a whole lot more interesting! I can’t wait for the third book to come out now!
Goodness me! I know organised religion is a thing, but this was something else. Chapman depicts a fictional cult where Christianity is at the root of the beliefs, but the followers/disciples are brainwashed into thinking that all that is preached by their ministers is the gospel truth. Oh, Sister follows the story of three women. All three have been disfellowed from the cult because they are judged as having gone against the religion’s beliefs. All it did was highlight the inequality between men and women in this particular one. One woman is punished for being the one who suffers SA, yet, because she cannot provide two witnesses to the accusation, she is the one not believed. One grieving a deep loss is punished for choosing to have a blood transfusion. One is cast aside because her husband left her for a younger model, and she realises her life does not have to revolve around that man. Not one of these women deserved to be treated the way they were. And yet, where is the sisterhood when the rest of the women in the cult sneer and ignore them? It hit a nerve. Many thanks to NetGalley, Penguin Random House and Michael Joseph for an ARC.
Caroline is dreading the impending cruise. It was booked by her late husband, who fully expected to still be with her. Instead, her daughters convince her to go, with them accompanying her. They have their reasons, which Caroline has some idea about, but despite not wanting to, she goes. A beautiful story about a woman in her twilight years, navigating a road she always envisaged travelling with her partner by her side. The cruise (I want to go on a cat cruise!) highlights many things to her, but the biggest one is that life does have to go on, and she realises this after meeting a new friend, Betty, who has been through the same situation herself. I loved Caroline, and am so glad she was able to draw strength from an extremely tough time in her life, and that she was able to bond with her daughters in a way that would be more productive in the future. And I think everyone needs a Betty in times of stress!
Releasing 22nd February, 2023
Releasing 10th February, 2023
So, tell me what you have been reading, and what caught your eye from the above!
(Adding a little #JusJoJan to the prompt with the word Canine by Dawn. Thanks, Linda!)
If we were having chai, I’d start by telling you about school. It feels like school is always busy. Seriously. We never stop! We celebrated the Chinese/Lunar new year with the kids all week. It was great to see them embracing new skills and trying foods they may not have, tried before! We explored Chinese calligraphy and Chinese Numbers. The children all had a fortune cookie, thought of and wrote their own Fortune cookie message (in their own special way!). They tried using chopsticks, and we even had a noodle-tasting session! And the best thing? They made two class dragons, which we used to do a Chinese Dragon Dance on Friday! What fun!
If we were having chai, I’d tell you I also took Reception on their first trip out of school! Now, I have been on plenty of school trips before, but since becoming the Phase Leader, I have never actually been on one, with ALL the responsibility on my head! We were walking into town to visit the local library. I had to ensure we had sufficient adults to help with the supervision of walking 60 4-5 year olds down the roads, so enlisted many enthusiastic parents to help. I also had to be mindful of the children with additional needs, who weren’t having their home adult coming with us, so anticipating any possible triggers/meltdowns too. You know, on the whole, it went really well. But we did have two upsets, which we were able to sort out pretty quickly, and I arrived back at school with just as many children as when I left. Phew! A good trip for all!
If we were having chai, I’d say that one of my colleagues’ hubby has started a food account on Instagram, and I commented on one of his items, saying it looked rather yummy, only to be sent one of the brookies that he had made. Possibly not great for my diet, but rather yummy, nonetheless!
If we were having chai, I’d tell you Lil Princess had a bit of an incident to deal with at school, which was really tough (not involving her, but some of her close friends.) It led to quite a tough few days, as she processed what was happening. But, in order to get her out of a funk, we did some baking of our own! Fairy cakes (me) and cookies (her) were the order of the day on Saturday. Then she helped me make Chicken and Sweetcorn soup on Sunday, and some chocolate rice crispie bars too! Cooking is definitely the best therapy!
If we were having chai, I’d mention that I kept up with my weights. Lil Man adapted my programme, not to heavier weights, but by increasing my reps, so even though I thought it wouldn’t make a difference, I can feel the muscles working! I’m not sure the brookies and baking have helped with weight loss, but I feel a bit healthier! But I am running low on my HRT (Progesterone tabs, in particular) as the pharmacy say they are out of stock and unable to be reordered until the end of the month. This led to stress too. Plus, I have been feeling a little more away with the fairies again… Don’t know if we need another chat with the GP to see if my dosages need upping…
If we were having chai, I would need to update you on my furbaby, Sonu Singh! It amazes me that he wakes me so early in the week, yet somehow has an idea about not coming in too early on the weekends! But, he has taken to coming into our room, and sleeping on my back or shoulder, nowadays! Lil Princess is still harping on about getting a dog, but I wonder how our feline would react to a canine sibling???
This week there is the first of a few organised teacher strikes by one of the unions. I am not a part of that one, but we have a few members of staff who are, and I am still unsure as to who is planning on striking. It will be a sticky day, as the head tries to cover classes, so parents aren’t left too out of sorts, but equally, trying to rally round and support the staff that are striking, for good reason. Strikes are meant to cause disruption, but it is with a heavy heart that any educational professional (or other professionals in other industries) decide to strike, because they know of the disruption that will be caused, but the idea is that the disruption will make the people at the top sit up and listen to the reasons for the strikes. Will it work? I don’t know. But I support my colleagues who choose to strike. In fact, I wish it were for the support staff too, who are paid a pittance for doing a HUGE job in classrooms every day. Elsewhere, I am attending an EYFS STEM conference on Thursday, all day, and I have an official observation on Friday. I know I can teach, but this always scares the bejesus out of me. Wish me luck!
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But I Smile Anyway... 
