One-Liner Wednesday – Cat Years #1linerweds

Lil Man to Lil Princess: “You need to respect your elders, and I mean Sonu Singh too…(our 3 year old cat!), you know he’s like over 30 in cat years!! Oh that means he’s older than me too!”

Kids thought processes give me a giggle! There is always the argument about how old Sonu Singh really is! I did look it up…

There’s no reliable scientific way to calculate the relationship between human and cat years, but it’s generally agreed that the first two years of a cat’s life are roughly equal to the first 25 of a human’s, and after this, each additional year is around four ‘cat years‘. Source

So our furball is approximately 31 Cat Years apparently! (3 and a half human years!)

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Sonu Singh

For Linda’s #1linerweds challenge!

Nand-no’s! #servicewithasmile

I love Nando’s!

Doesn’t everyone love Nando’s?

Actually, scratch that.

My own daughter didn’t like Nando’s! We had to always get her a sneaky Happy Meal so we could sit in the restaurant to eat at Bluewater! She couldn’t even hack the ‘Plain-ish’ marinade! Seriously?!

But note the didn’t… something changed recently and she has decided that Nando’s Wings, Plain-ish of course, are rather yummy!

So, today we popped to Bluewater for some lunch, and the decision was made that we go to … Nando’s!

It took a while to get a table.

Even the waitress at the door was surprised at how busy the restaurant was. “You’d think everyone would be out enjoying the 28 degrees C heat that we’re experiencing eh!” she chirruped! A 15-minute wait was agreeable as I could send Hubby Dearest off with the kids to look at something while I waited, and had a pleasant chat with our door person!

A table was spotted a little earlier and soon we were seated. Boy, was it hot, but no matter! Let’s appreciate the warmth we have finally been blessed with!

The food was ordered, except the chicken wings would take 15-20 minutes. At least the cashier had a kind of smile on her face!

No bother. We could cope with that!

Ten minutes later, I was pulling my hair out. The kids were bickering, the temperatures were rising, in my mind as well as in the atmosphere!

Then another lovely smiley lady came by. ” I am so sorry, but the order you placed. Well, it’s going to take around 20 minutes as there was no room in the

Smiley Lady: ” I am so sorry, but the order you placed. Well, it’s going to take around 20 minutes as there was no room in the oven so they will take a little longer…”

Me: “Oh, that’s ok, the lady already told me!”

Smiley Lady: ” Erm, no, I mean an extra 20 minutes…”

Me: “Oh. But the kids are waiting (and driving me crazy…!)”

Smiley Lady: Can we give you anything in the meantime? A complimentary starter…?”

Me: “Oh ok! Garlic bread will be fine,” [turns to Hubby Dearest] “is one enough? Lil Princess won’t eat it anyway…” [turns to Smiley Lady] “A garlic bread is fine, thank you!”

Smiley Lady: “Just the one? Are you sure?”

I nodded and sent her on her way.

And it was with us in seconds, it seemed. Lil Princess turned her nose up at it. “School does the best Garlic Bread. This is yucky.”

We shared it amongst the rest of us. As there was one bite left, she decided to take an interest. ” Mmmm! This is yummy! Mummy can we have more?” Typical!

Roll on the next 15 minutes!

Meanwhile, the two ladies sat next to us were looking a little miffed. One had her meal, while the other was sat waiting.

On asking at the counter, it appeared that her food had been forgotten!

My kids were starting to growl now for sustenance. They are not attractive when hungry!

It had hit the half an hour mark. I was minute watching!

Looking over at the serving counter, our meals were sat there, waiting to be lovingly served with a smile to us.

A (different) waitress looked at it, and the accompanying receipt. And ignored our food!

Hmmm! Okay. Maybe something was still missing from the order.

The lady next to us caught her attention, and as she came over to the table, she mentioned the lack of a meal for her companion.

“Er, while you are on your way, please could we have our food? I believe it’s there, waiting to be served…” Said with a smile, obviously! It’s Ritu we are talking about here!

Well, she looked at me… looked over, then sloped over to the serving desk. Picked up our meals and brought them over, placing them in front of me rather clumsily, leaving me to hand them to the correct people. My one was last, and she looked at me with a rather dour face and said “Sorry for the delay…” then sloped off to get our neighbour’s meal.

We all looked at each other.

Sincerity in an apology means so much!

The other lady’s meal was brought over in a similar fashion so (it was a mum and daughter combo) Mum got up and went to the counter to place a complaint. Daughter started to eat, but Mum wasn’t coming back in a hurry! She felt bad at eating while Mum’s food was going cold!

When she arrived, it was with a promise of a free meal next time! I said she should have asked for free sides and a dessert instead! This way, they would still have to come back to redeem the compensation!

Anyway… the food was good, as always!

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And I didn’t see the dour waitress again. But a smiley waiter did pop up several times to ask if everything was ok with us, and our neighbours!

What made me laugh afterwards was reading an advert that they had placed (in the loo of all places) for people to come join their Nando’s team!

One of the requirements was people skills and smiles! Four out of five members of staff we encountered can’t be too bad eh!

I can’t help but think this young lady was suited to ‘back of house’ duties!

Maybe she was having a bad day… who knows, but it can grate on a customer if they are already waiting for late food/having to request forgotten food, and then get served with a cold apology to accompany said late/forgotten food!

As I said at the beginning…

I love Nando’s!

 

Parenthood Passport #ThrowbackThursday

 A repost of an older post of mine… enjoy!


You know when you start that journey called parenthood, you should really be issued with a passport.

You don’t need a visa to become a parent (though seeing some mums and dads out there, you’d think there would be some requirements!), but there are so many stops, destinations, along the way… Wouldn’t it be great if you could get a special stamp for the different experiences that you manage to get through?I’ll start with a few… I’m sure you can think of others to add to the list.

  • I survived the sleepless night stage! Matchsticks are helping the eyes stay open, but I’m still standing…
  • I got pooped/peed on, while changing a nappy! Ewwwwws!
  • I’ve experienced the projectile vomiting craziness! How the heck do they do that?!
  • Crying stamp level 1 – I’ve cried when they didn’t eat that flavoursome gloop that it took me hours to make… Yet it took them 3 minutes flat to eat that readymade rubbish!
  • We finally got them out of nappies! Yes the carpet needs a good clean from the accidents…and I’ll probably need a new mattress,  but we did it!
  • I survived a long distance journey in a car with kids…. And came out ALIVE!!! (And so did they!)
  • Separate stamp for the same, but in an airplane!
  • I coped with a tantrum in public, and didn’t look like a totally incapable parent!  (A hard one to achieve!)
  • I rushed my child to A & E… For no reason whatsoever! Paranoid parent stamp!
  • Crying stamp level 2 – I sniffled through waving my kids through that school gate for the first time.
  • I survived sending them to their first sleepover…  handing the reigns of my child over to someone else!
  • I came out of hosting a children’s sleepover alive. FULLSTOP!
  • They pushed, they tried it on, and I still didn’t buckle. The testing limits stamp.
  • The pre teen pretend hormonal tantrums of 7 year old daughters… Going through this right now… Not sure how I will cope!!

As they get older, there are still many stamps to collect.

  • I managed to totally embarrass my offspring! Oh no could get this one dozens of times!!!
  • I survived them walking in on us in a compromising situation, and managed to style it out stamp!
  • We got through the that talk stage…. And even managed to field some pretty awkward questions!
  • The teenage years… FULLSTOP!
  • I teased my children through their first crushes!
  • I sat nervously, waiting for my child to come home after their first time out, unsupervised!
  • I managed to allow my child to go on a date! ( a hard one for dads and their daughters!)
  • Crying stamp level 3 – Oh My God! My baby can’t be ready to leave me and go to college/University??!! Still. I managed to let go…

It goes on, through to their relationships, and marriage to them having their own children… There are so many more stamps to collect…

Which other Parenthood Passport stamp would you include?

It’s that Margate Time of Year Again!

As a nursery teacher, it is not actually easy to get out with your class.

By out, I don’t mean in the playground, but being able to actually leave the premises with the children.

The health and safety checks are to blame. The adult to child ratios are so high that we would leave the rest of the school understaffed!

So, instead, once a year, we arrange a trip to the seaside, to coincide with our Seaside topic. And we insist invite the parents, and extended family or siblings, to come. There is a little price for them to pay, but for the sake of a tenner, what a great way to spend quality time with your child, and their families!

Margate is our beach of choice. (And to prove it, click here for a post from a couple of years ago!)

Now, it’s not the most prosperous of places. There has been a revival of the local amusement park, Dreamland, which took a short while to dive bomb back into debt… and last year, I experienced my first real Brexit-fuelled racism there too! (If you want to read about that click here!)

But, seriously, Margate has the most stunning beaches!

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Obligatory Beach Selfie!

The weather has been rather iffy the last week of so, but the God of Nursery visits was looking down on us as he always does, and we were blessed with a glorious day!

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Check out that blue sky! Yes, that is in the UK!

When we alighted the train, the sign reminded us where we were.

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And as we meandered in an 80-strong convoy, adult and child alike, laden down with bags stuffed with beachy things, there was some interesting graffiti on some of the closed down shop shutters.

You could see the ill-fated Dreamland tower too…

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What a Dream!

There was a mini group of stones embedded in the pavement as we walked to the beach, with inscriptions carved on them.

Then came the beach.. and the view… now bear in mind these photos have not been edited…

Is that really in the UK?!

What a beautiful sight! And the weather was wonderful. A slight breeze to stop the children (and us) from overheating, but no wind to kick up a sand storm!

There were beach rules to adhere to, which were also announced on a tannoy every couple of hours.

The water was pretty warm too so we managed a little bit of paddling, my charge and I. (Some children are unable to come with parents because of work commitments, so they get one of the staff as a surrogate mum/grandmum for the day!)

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Happy to eat seaweed.. not so happy to wade through it, but hey ho!

And you can’t come to the seaside without eating chips and ice cream! (Not together obviously!) I would say fish too but it was a Tuesday and we have a ‘thing’ in my in-law’s family about no meat/alcohol on a Tuesday.. don’t ask!)

And I can’t forget the seagulls who came to visit regularly, knowing food was in the offing… not by human choice obviously! They managed to eat a whole portion of someone’s chips!

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It was a marvellous day out. The children loved the travel on the train with their friends, and on the journey back they were exhausted but happy. What more could I ask?

P.S. Sorry His Geoffleship, I did say I would try and recreate the Weston Sand sculptures you had written about, but what with running around after abandoned kids, when parents went to get food/coffee/take advantage of free babysitters we wished us staff had eight tentacles like octopii to hold them down, or stop then from straying too far!

Being Dad…


It was an innocent comment on my post Being Mum, that Rajiv Chopra, that inspired me to think like a man for once… Ok, so you all know I have a bit of a habit of dressing up, and I have also gone down the route of dressing up as the hairier sex of the species on occasion, but I have never really put myself in their shoes…at least not by thinking like, perhaps how a new father might feel… So here goes…

God, it’s not so much fun, is it, when you have to perform on command? She said tonight was a good night, but to be honest, I’ve had a couple of beers, and I’m not sure it’s a good night… for me anyway. The last time I tried to be a little amorous, she was like “No! My eggs aren’t ready yet, but in a couple of days we can…” It really takes the fun out of baby-making! Surely we just need to keep ‘having a go’ and we’ll get lucky soon enough.
But, you know, it breaks my heart, seeing her every time those damn tests come back negative. I don’t know how to get her to chill out… I know it’ll happen… I know it will. Our time will come.  It hurts me too, you know, somewhere deep inside, but I don’t show it because she gets so cut up, one of us has to be strong…
A few months later…
Ok so it happened… Jeez!!! I’m going to be a father!!! Whoa!! God, that happened quicker than I though… But hey, I always knew it would… I was starting to worry, maybe I’d been firing blanks. But no! It’s all good!!!!
Nearing the end of the pregnancy…
Wow! I wish this baby would just come, already! We had the couple of months of sickness, in fact even I made her sick at times. Apparently I can’t eat curry.  The smell made her gag! I’ve become an expert at back rubs, foot rubs, belly cradling. The guy at the 24 hour garage knows me by name. Well, where else do I go, for that odd craving for Twiglets, at 3am??!!
She was tired… God was she tired, at the beginning, but then she got this burst of energy, and how do I put it… She got a bit randy! But I was a bit tentative in my advances.. I mean, come on! My baby’s somewhere down there!!! I don’t want to hit it!
Taking of baby, the scan. Seriously, if there is a time a grown man should get emotional, it’s seeing that little swimmer of yours, turned into a real live, wriggly thing that’s eventually gonna become a baby. I was pretty strong the first time round. To be honest, I couldn’t make head nor tail of what the sonographer was showing us! I just smiled and nodded, and when she was getting excited telling everyone about the scan, and showing off the picture, I just smiled and nodded, again… But the second one. Now that was a different matter. There was most definitely a baby in there, no alien like creature! I could see the arms and legs, a face… That was my baby.  I put my hands up. As I squeezed her hand, my eyes might have been a bit moist. Proud daddy to be, showed that picture off to everyone!
She told me about the movements, but to be honest, I felt a little left out. I couldn’t see or feel anything, at first, when my hand was placed over the bump. I just smiled, and nodded. Yes, again! But there came a time when I could feel it. My, that baby had some kick! A future footy player for sure! And laying there at night, while she was complaining about her distended belly, and stretch marks…(what are they, anyway?!) I saw a ripple… I saw baby move!!! Inside her belly, I saw my baby move!!!
The day came…
Oh God, its really hurting her! I dont know what to do, to make it any better for her! Music, oils, back rubs, bouncy balls.. Those antenatal classes were rubbish! Can’t they just give her something for the pain? And maybe me too… She’s digging her nails into my hand so deep, but I can’t risk mentioning it… Every time I catch her eye, she looks at me like I’m the devil, and she curses me for putting her in this excruciating position!!! But she calms down when the contraction is done.
The doctor said the baby’s crowning… What? Oh, you mean it’s coming???!!! Oh dear God! Jeez!! What do I do??!?
Push!!!!!!!!!!
Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!
Oh My God!!!
I’m a Dad!!!!!
Cut the cord, I did. I’m so connected with my baby, a true 21st century dad!
He.
Didn’t I say? It’s a boy! Anyway, he’s a hungry little thing, feeding from mummy… He seems to have been doing a lot of that… I thought babies slept more… This one seems to be permanently attached to my former fun bags, sorry I mean to my wife’s breast!
A few days later…
What do you mean ‘sleep like a baby’??? Thank God for paternity leave, is all I can say!!! He cries all night, and whenever I go in for a cuddle with her, he seems to know… Son, I love you, but I love my wife, that’s your mum, too!!
She’s exhausted, bless her. The nights are hard, I don’t have boobs, and expressing didn’t work… I try to do the winding, heck I’ve even changed disgusting nappies! But he only settles with her…
Back to work…
Wow, even the commuter train feels like bliss… No crying baby, no nappies, other human contact. I mean with people who talk about usual things, not just the next feed, the colour of his poo, and all things baby related… I love my son, but he’s hard work!!! I’m sure I wasn’t like that, I must ask my mum…
It was a long day, but I actually feel refreshed! Back home to wife and son, and the baby life…
Oh, and can I say, babe, your belly, and those stretch marks you keep on going on about? They don’t matter… Think of them as a trophy… After all, you just completed a pretty mean feat!

You know, I can appreciate a father can feel quite the outsider in the early months of being a parent. Physically, there is nothing you can do to change that, but in those few months, just some support, the offer of a cup of tea, taking baby for a walk, giving new mum a chance for a long soak, or just a little break… Those little things help, and remember, especially for a new mum, it’s such a wrench from their former life… Everyone needs to adjust, and for her sanity, she needs time with other adults. Similarly, new mummies, don’t shut daddy out. He can’t do some things, but there is a lot he can do to help!!
You’re in it together, after all… 🙂

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