Parenthood Passport #ThrowbackThursday

 A repost of an older post of mine… enjoy!


You know when you start that journey called parenthood, you should really be issued with a passport.

You don’t need a visa to become a parent (though seeing some mums and dads out there, you’d think there would be some requirements!), but there are so many stops, destinations, along the way… Wouldn’t it be great if you could get a special stamp for the different experiences that you manage to get through?I’ll start with a few… I’m sure you can think of others to add to the list.

  • I survived the sleepless night stage! Matchsticks are helping the eyes stay open, but I’m still standing…
  • I got pooped/peed on, while changing a nappy! Ewwwwws!
  • I’ve experienced the projectile vomiting craziness! How the heck do they do that?!
  • Crying stamp level 1 – I’ve cried when they didn’t eat that flavoursome gloop that it took me hours to make… Yet it took them 3 minutes flat to eat that readymade rubbish!
  • We finally got them out of nappies! Yes the carpet needs a good clean from the accidents…and I’ll probably need a new mattress,  but we did it!
  • I survived a long distance journey in a car with kids…. And came out ALIVE!!! (And so did they!)
  • Separate stamp for the same, but in an airplane!
  • I coped with a tantrum in public, and didn’t look like a totally incapable parent!  (A hard one to achieve!)
  • I rushed my child to A & E… For no reason whatsoever! Paranoid parent stamp!
  • Crying stamp level 2 – I sniffled through waving my kids through that school gate for the first time.
  • I survived sending them to their first sleepover…  handing the reigns of my child over to someone else!
  • I came out of hosting a children’s sleepover alive. FULLSTOP!
  • They pushed, they tried it on, and I still didn’t buckle. The testing limits stamp.
  • The pre teen pretend hormonal tantrums of 7 year old daughters… Going through this right now… Not sure how I will cope!!

As they get older, there are still many stamps to collect.

  • I managed to totally embarrass my offspring! Oh no could get this one dozens of times!!!
  • I survived them walking in on us in a compromising situation, and managed to style it out stamp!
  • We got through the that talk stage…. And even managed to field some pretty awkward questions!
  • The teenage years… FULLSTOP!
  • I teased my children through their first crushes!
  • I sat nervously, waiting for my child to come home after their first time out, unsupervised!
  • I managed to allow my child to go on a date! ( a hard one for dads and their daughters!)
  • Crying stamp level 3 – Oh My God! My baby can’t be ready to leave me and go to college/University??!! Still. I managed to let go…

It goes on, through to their relationships, and marriage to them having their own children… There are so many more stamps to collect…

Which other Parenthood Passport stamp would you include?

‘New World Coming’-FFF 38

Matt’s Flash Fiction Foray Challenge this week…

Neon Music Sign

This week’s edition will be on (drumroll please)… Benjamin Wallfisch & Disa’s New World Coming, as suggested by Julie. Feel free to base responses of anything to do with the song, I always enjoy any different takes! If you want to read previous challenges and responses, click here.

You are to write a flash fiction piece of 100 words, but if you go a little over, Matt doesn’t mind!

“People always thought I was the boring one, incapable of doing anything interesting. But I’m about to change that. There’s a new world coming,” Jane murmured, “a new way of thinking, a new set of rules to play by. Life is going to be totally different.”
She was going to take on a whole new role in this unknown world.
What adventures lay ahead?
Slowly she looked down, and smoothed her hand over her expanding stomach.
“And it’s all because of you, little one, the new voice soon to enter into my world, and turn it upside down.”

And as a little aside, I reviewed both the Books and Movie here!

I just wanna be taller…

Somehow, tonight, the kids and I ended up discussing plastic surgery…

No, I don’t condone it on young people, but I will discuss various topics with the Little Monsters, in simplistic terms, if questions arise… as they did today!

The kids were talking about sight, and contact lenses, and Lil Man mentioned that I had already had Laser eye surgery. “Why can’t kids have it?”. While explaining why, I touched on nose jobs and things, talking about how your body needs to grow first, before being altered, or surgery could be pointless.  I also mentioned boob jobs as I know at the age of 9 he likes a good snigger at the words ‘boobies’ and ‘breasts’! (The meat aisle is a constant source of amusement to him at the moment, what with chicken breasts and turkey breasts!)

Lil Man asked ” Can you get an operation to make you taller too then?”

I hesitated before answering… He continued “because I think I’d like to have that, if it makes you taller.”

I hadn’t anticipated that question, but as soon as he asked it, I kinda knew that statement would follow. I’ve made no secret of that fact that my Lil Man is small in stature, for his age, but I didn’t realise it bugged him that much! We’ve had the conversations in the past, I’ve even researched famous vertically challenged people with him, so he doesn’t feel like being small is a bad thing, and at the end of the day, he’s 9, there is plenty of time for him to grow.  But obviously it does bug him.  “People at school don’t believe I can’t be good at anything in sports because I am so small. They think I’m rubbish…”

Now, far be it for me to big up my son, but this is so far from the truth, its unreal. In fact he has surprised his teachers and sports coaches with his strength, and skills in football (soccer), basketball and badminton.

Aside from telling him to ignore these people, I was at a loss… what should I tell my Lil Man?

Great things come in small packages. We’ve all heard that old chestnut countless times, I’m sure, but how do I make him believe it?

Thank you Skype!

Well, I have now officially been an aunt for 6 days and I can honestly say I have not stopped smiling! I have cheek strain, in fact!!!

The only downer to my immense happiness… We won’t be able to get baby cuddles for a while yet… Because they are all the way in Finland, and we’re here in England.  So, factoring in weather, cost of tickets and school holidays, it’s not an easy ask…

So, here’s where the post header comes in, thank goodness for Skype! So far we have had 3 wonderful face to face calls, and my nephew gives me smiles!!!!!! (Ok, I know, could be wind, but apparently it’s only me, and his mummy’s brother, his uncle from the Finnish contingent, that gets these ‘smiles’!) to hear those little whimpers and gurgles… Oh I just want to reach into my screen and pick him up!

The children are so happy to see him, so proud to be big brother and big sister to him, and even the kitten has been informed he is no longer the youngest in the family!!

And Hubby Dearest, well. He just melts… Who’s getting clucky now then, eh??!

But seriously, I’m so glad to have this chance to be a part of my nephew’s life, albeit by screen, from a young age. At least he’ll know us, and recognise our voices, so when we do descend en masse, he won’t be totally overwhelmed (a little bit, perhaps!) when we smother him with our hugs and kisses!

Today I was speaking with my brother and junior and he was unsettled… So I sang a silly song to him, and it calmed him down. See, from so far away, I can still do this!! I love it!!

So, thanks again Skype!!!  You’re helping us create precious moments we wouldn’t be able to have without you!

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My two, erm, Angels!

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Let me introduce my son, 9 year old, Lil Man, and Brat, no sorry, Lil Princess, my 6-going-16 year old daughter.

It took a little while to become parents, due to some health issues, but once we got there, its been a crazy ride, from smooth sailing, to rocky road rollercoasters, but hey, I guess that’s just called parenthood!  Lil Man is a dude in so many ways, a child with a great sense of humour, and he rocks when playing the Dhol drum!  Ok, so academically, he’s not the strongest, but he’s got a great imagination!  He loves his sport, football, basketball, badminton, tennis, and excels at it,even though he is small of stature!  An emotional young man, he loves his family (except his sister, but at this age, I guess this sibling love is hard to come by!), feels change strongly, and has the temper of Vesuvius! I mean, the other day he stormed into my classroom at the end of the day and sneered at me ” I HATE your sandwiches!!!” Erm, ok…. “You put TOMATO in them!” Uh oh! The cardinal sin where he’s concerned! In a hurry to make packed lunches, I had inadvertently put tomatoes in his sandwiched, whoops!!

Lil Princess, well, she’s another story!  I love her to bits, a true character, she’s always singing and dancing… yes, a Drama Queen!  She thinks she is so much older than her tender years, and is constantly advising her friends, telling them what to do! But she is kind caring and considerate, always polite, the first one to volunteer to buddy up with a new child in school to help them settle in, perfect… Though it seems that that child only exists at school! Once were home, a whole other child appears!!!! One that regresses to 3 when she wants something, winding daddy and grandparents round her little finger, tears and tantrums when it doesn’t work, then an attitude of a 16year old when you try to reason with her!

Saying that, I wouldn’t change them for anything! As frustrating as they can be, they are a funny pair’ making us laugh all the time!

Take Lil Man the other day, when I became an Aunty… He saw some pictures showing my Brother Dearest having skin to skin time with Junior, on a hospital bed, swaddled in sheets, the pair of them. He sat pondering for a while, looking confused, then asked me “mummy, did Mamu (uncle) have the baby?” And why wouldn’t you think that?! After all, he’s the one in the pic, with the newborn!

And Lil Princess, well yesterday. She decided to educate us. She’s been learning about the human body at school. “Mummy I know a life cycle! First you eat something, then it goes to your throat, then your stomach. After your stomach it goes to your belly button, then it poops out of your bottom!” And proceeded to illustrate it with a flow cycle chart! Again child logic, it’s fantastic eh!

So there you have it my two crazy children, and I’m sure there will be more anecdotes over time!

My interactive peeps!

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