Yes, really!
My mum, my biological mother, will always be my idol. A woman I respect to the utmost, someone I aspire to be like, but over the years there have been others that have given me the love of a mother for various reasons, and I want to celebrate them also.
The first ‘other’ mother I have to mention is, of course my Mother-In-Law (MIL). Now, contrary to popular belief, my MIL and I have an amazing relationship. I am so lucky to have her as my MIL. She is a lovely lady, and has been a huge support to us, and me, as a woman, first and foremost. She knows what its like to leave your home, and all you know, to live in another totally alien family. I am 3 hours away from mine, she is a 10 hour plane ride away from hers! She has taught me the ropes of being a daughter-in-law in my new family, helped me hugely with my journey to become mum, and when I finally was one! She looks after the kids for us, still cooks us meals, and nothing is too much for her… but the biggest thing, she gave me the love of a mum, when my own was far away. She treated me like the daughter she never had, and for that I will always be grateful. Love you MIL mum! ❤
The second ‘other’ mother who is so important in my life is one of my aunts. I have to say here that all of my aunts are pretty special to me, they have all loved me, and treated me like a daughter, but this one I hold a special candle for… She has been in my life for many years, married my uncle. They were unfortunately not blessed with a child of their own, despite many attempts to become parents. Still, she had a smile on her face all the time, and through many important periods of my life she has been there, supportive, as a mother would be, and I have always wanted to give her the love and respect a mum deserves, as she would have made such an amazing mother. In fact, even though she couldn’t biologically do it, she has been ‘mum’ to many, helping her own other nieces and nephews to settle down in new countries, and new lives, and their children call her grandma, as they would to a ‘real’ grandma. She is not well nowadays, fighting diabetes and epilepsy, and constantly giving us a scare, but she does it all with this most precious smile. Last year she was ill, in hospital, and it was touch and go. In fact my parents rushed overseas to be by her bedside, and I was on standby to go, if things took a turn for the worse… but she slowly turned a corner, and fought, and Pops would send me pictures of her in hospital, wearing the God – awful gowns, and hats, but with the biggest smile ever! I love that smile, what I wouldn’t do to see it regularly. Love you Mamiji mum! ❤
The third ‘other’ mother I have is not someone in my family, or even from our community or religion. She is my ‘Ammi’, my best friend’s mum. The day we became best buds, our families became extensions of each others. My mum is called ‘mum’ by her, and her mum ‘ammi’ by me out of respect, and love. See, a Sikh and Muslim family can have such a bond. Ammi is such a wonderful person, funny, caring, loving. I don’t get to see her often nowadays, but she is still someone, who, when she knows her daughter is seeing me, will make up my favourite dish of hers, and send it in a Tupperware pot, like any mum would do, and who would lament with me over the phone about my bezzie not getting married, and where she would find a suitable boy! (she did folks, and he is lovely!) s looks at my children as another set of grand children, and loves to see her ‘other’ son-in-law (Hubby Dearest), when he deems it right to pay a visit too! Love you Ammi mum! ❤
So you see, Mothers are not just those who give birth to you, but those that nurture you, and help you become the person you are. There are many such women out there who take the place of a ‘real’ mother for various reasons, be it as a step parent, a foster mum, an adoptive parent, or, like I have, those who you feel in your heart, deserve the love and respect a mother naturally should garner. My Mum will always be my mum, and she has taught me that my heart is big enough to have this type of love for many. She knows she is the most important lade in my life, but I believe she would be proud to know that I recognise these other women, the way I do above.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Another set of thoughts pre Mother's Day.