Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 237 – Me

img_00411

The things that make me different are the things that make me.

Winnie The Pooh

Gotta love a bit of Pooh Tao, thanks Spidey!

Go on, hands up. Who is guilty of thinking they need to be ‘like’ others to be accepted?

Thinking a certain way, wearing particular clothes, listening to the ‘in’ music, watching the films everyone is raving about… that kind of thing?

Why do we always want to be keeping up with the Joneses? Why can’t we just be ourselves, and why do you think the world won’t accept you as you are?

As a child I was always different from my school peers. There weren’t many Indian girls in my school. I was never singled out because of it, but where they were horseriding and having piano lessons at the weekends, I was going to family weddings and attempting to learn how to read and write my home language, Punjabi (I failed… can speak and understanding fluently, but the reading/writing? Nope!)

We grew up together and as the others were worrying about prospective boyfriends and dates for the ball we had at 15, then discussing the late night bars they began to frequent, and clubs, I was still there, enjoying the music they listened to, and joining in with their chats about crushes on teeny bopper pop idols, and our own real life crushes, but I was also still busy every weekend with my family (it’s huge, there are neverending lists of events and functions to attend, even now!)

It didn’t single me out in a negative way, my friends just knew I wouldn’t be turning up at the non uniform day in a miniskirt and cropped top, despite it being the fashion. I’d be wearing whatever sensible clothes my mum thought were best.

Because that was me. Ratty. Yes, that was my nickname at school. Not because I was bad tempered or anything, but because my full first name is Ratinder, and we watched The Wind In The Willows one day and the character Ratty came up… and so I was christened. One of my oldest school friends still calls me Ratty, over thirty years later!

As I hit university, I admit, I went through the whole fitting in thing. I wore the clothes everyone else did, went to all the clubs, drank all the drinks, and skipped the lectures… but it took me a while to realise that that wasn’t really me.

In all honesty, it took me a good twenty more years to find ‘me’.

Yes I was always, and will always be Ritu the Daughter, Ritu the Sister, Ritu the Wife, Ritu the Daughter-in-Law, Ritu the Mother, Ritu the Colleague, Ritu the Uni friend, Ratty the school mate.

But I no longer conform to what others may expect. I will wear what I want and feel comfortable in. I will eat what I fancy. I will go where I feel a pull to attend, not be forced to go to events that are a drain on my soul. I will laugh. I will cry. I will write. I will read. I will do everything that I enjoy. That makes me, me.

I won’t be a stereotype.

I will be me.

So… tell me, when did you realise it is okay to be YOU?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 236 – Early Years

img_00411

“It is greater work to educate a child, in a true and larger sense of the world, than to rule a state.”

Willia Ellery Channing

Profoundness today, eh Spidey!

And apt, as always, to my situation.

I have completed my first week in my new classroom, with my first very own class.

A group of 30 children who are my responsibility for the next academic year.

That’s a BIG responsibility.

Yes, they are 4-5 years-old.

No, they aren’t going to learn how to write a novel/solve complex equations/create scientific formulas this year.

But what I will have to teach them is to love learning.

  • How to hold a pencil
  • How to count
  • How to recognise their name and write it
  • How to begin to read

Simple academics, but on top of that, and more importantly, I need to teach them how to be compassionate, caring individuals. I need to show them that the world doesn’t revolve around them individually, but rather they, and their actions keep our world turning.

I must show then that asking questions is not wrong, but a way of extending their own knowledge. Every question they ask can be explored, investigated.

I have to make sure they develop confidence; conquer the fear of “I can’t do that” and convert it into “I can’t do that, yet.” and further, to “I will try that” onto “I did it!”

It’s a tough job, being an Early Years teacher. The syllabus isn’t as cut and dried as other years.

But I have the joy of (hopefully) creating a stable foundation for my class. A solid beginning to their academic career, so they move forward with an open mind and joy of learning.

So… tell me, what is the first memory you have of school?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 233 – Parenting

img_00411

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”

Bette Davis

Thanks Spidey, for that.

Bette Davis, I hear ya sister!

I can tell my household is filled with teen and tweenage hormones.

The angst clouding the atmosphere can sometimes be so thick, I need my own knife to cut it, just so I can get around my house.

And over the last few weeks, I have had “I Hate You!” thrown at me so many times, it is unbelieveable!

Truthfully, I don’t hear it much from the older one.

He’s a little more subtle, with his brooding stares of death, and retreating to the garden to work off frustrations in the garden, whacking cricket balls around, or taking part in lengthy battles on Tekken 7, battering poor unsuspecting characters to submission on screen.

Once he’s done that, any moods disperse, and he’ll be quite calm again.

But the other one. OMG.

Maybe it’s because she’s the female of the species – though I don’t recall ever being this moody at her age!

But, seriously. WOW!

All it takes is saying “Can you change please?” or “Time for a shower.”

Yeah fine, sometimes I’m cramping her style, not allowing her to express herself through her interesting dress sense… butI need her to look decent, or respectable, at least.

But other times, all it takes is a “Good morning!” and the bedroom door is slammed shut in a huff. I’m left standing there thinking “Whaddidido?”

Last night, after insisting she went and showered, I heard the unmistakeable youth chant “Oh, I HATE you!” as she slammed the door again – the bathroom one this time.

“I know,” I replied cheerily, and went off to my room to read.

The life of a parent, eh.

Two hours earlier she was sitting on my lap, posing for Snapchat selfies with the Mum she hates.

I do love her hate!

So, how long does this stage last, anyone? She’s 11…

So… tell me, which stage of parenthood are you going through right now?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 232 –

img_00411

“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Lilo & Stitch

Thanks Spidey for reminding me of that Lilo and Stitch quote.

I used to have a talking Stitch toy (yes, I admit it was before I had kids, and I was an adult, but then, I am a Disney fan, so it was mine!) and it would say a few different phrases from the film, in response to you saying things to it, and the above quote was said a lot.

I was reminded of the quote yesterday, after attending a family function back home in Brum.

Some folk I met there are family members who I hadn’t seen for five years or longer. It’s an unfortunate situation, but I live a bit further out than most, and when there are gatherings, they tend to be in the term time, and on a day where I just cannot get there in time, or if I arrived, I’d have to leave pretty much straight away, to get home at a decent time.

But instead of silly comments, or moods, I was welcomed back into the fold with open arms. Some asking about my writing, as they follow my progress on Social Media; some wanting to know how Hubby Dearest was; some jsut wanting to catch up.

It was a great feeling.

One of my aunts said “Tu toh Eid ka chand hi niklai.” It is a saying to describe someone who is rarely seen, and much anticipated, as during the month of Ramadan, and at Eid, Muslims wait, eagerly for the moon (chand) to show, before breaking fasts or starting celebrations.

That made me feel special, but also highlighted to me how little I get to see my extended family. Some of these folk, I saw weekly, growing up, and now it is after years that we meet.

I miss seeing my extended family a lot. They are a huge part of my upbringing, and my memories.

But at least I know I’m not forgotten… and I’ll never forget them either!

So… tell me, which member of your extended family do you have special connections with, and will never forget?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 230

img_00411

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

Groucho Marx

Oh, I loved this quote, Spidey!

This weekend I have been talking reading and books a lot, with my uncle, who came to visit me. This is my mum’s eldest brother. My Mamaji. And he lives in Kenya. I haven’t seen him in 18 years, since my wedding,

He’s a very special man to me. Another dad. And someone who has inspired me to read. Both him and my mother read copiously when I was younger, and though life may not allow them to read as much, even in retirement, they are both like me and would rather have a good book in their hand, than an eye on the goggle box, as my mum always calls it!

My Mamaji treated himself this trip, to an All New Kindle Paperwhite, and he brought it with him, to compare with mine, and to discuss book-related matters.

He’s a non-fiction reader more than fiction, and my memories of him are always of him with his nose in a book or the paper. I remember his bedroom in Kenya distinctly, with piles of books lining walls too!

In fact he was nearly a PhD Graduate in the 60s, but due to personal problelms, he never finished it, and it is a regret he feels keenly. He studied here in London, at Queen Mary’s College and Imperial College, both of which his took my aunt, my Mamiji, to visit last week!

There was a trunk filled with his belongings in my parent’s garage. My mum has kept it safe since it was entrusted to her care in the early 70s and she hasn’t dared open it, or get rid of it.

A couple of weeks ago, Mamaji stationed himself in the garage of Pops and Mum’s house, to rummage through his memories. The trunk was filled with all sorts, including a handmade suit of his, some other hilariously 60s clothes and TONS of books. When I phoned mum that day, she was laughing as she told me how he was like a child in a toyshop, delving into the memories of an extremely precious time for him.

I was in awe of his memory.

Even yesterday, as he mentioned the titles of some of the books, and the authors, some of whom had been his PhD lecturers, his eyes glistened with pure joy. He told mum to give the books away, as he can’t take them back, but he also had a ‘small’ list of ones he would ask her to keep, for memory’s sake.

I know I shall be rummaging around in that trunk before they get given away, to get another insight into Mamaji and his younger life.

Before he left, his parting words to me were, “Send me that book of yours when it’s done.”

Another member of my family who has been such a strong, silent support of my writing dream. He was so proud the day my poetry book came out, and I know I just need to do this, get this book published, not just for me, but for all those dear to me, who have so much faith in my ability.

So… tell me, who is part of your silent support group?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Previous Older Entries

My interactive peeps!

Peeps are reading in…

Flag Counter
%d bloggers like this: