Throwback Thursday #53 – It’s a Formal Affair #RememberWhen #TBT Memory

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Lauren at the helm!

This week’s prompt is: It’s a Formal Affair

This week, Lauren has gone for a slightly different approach and asked us to write about occasions where we had to dress up.

I am proposing a different way to write to the prompt today. Because we all had very diverse upbringings, I am going to list several reasons why you might get dressed up. Please feel free to add any occasion you had to get dressed up.

What were your special clothes like?  Did you get your hair done for the occasions? Was a mani-pedi part of the process? Were you instructed on how to behave? Did you have any input on the formal attire? Did you feel comfortable in your special outfit?

Please feel free to write about as many of the occasions you’d like to share. Pictures would be an awesome addition.

Lauren

Oh, my, dressing up was definitely a thing since we were constantly invited to different occasions and events, being from such a large family. I had an extensive collection of Indian outfits from a young age, (and still do!) which were pulled out to wear on any such occasion

Preparation as a child would have been washing face and hands, getting dressed, and then mum brushing my unruly mop of frizz into some semblance of tidiness, which was usually in two plaits!

As I got older, I would do my own hair, and have a go at simple makeup which was usually a bit of eyeliner and lipstick, with a spritz of Guerlain’s Samsara! That was my first grown-up perfume!

The addition of fancy jewellery and bangles was fun, too, and I would spend lots of time choosing my accessories!

But, despite all these times to get dolled up, for pre-wedding parties, weddings, receptions, birthday parties, dinners at different people’s homes, I longed for a different type of dressing up.

My school friends growing up, were all pretty much white, British girls, and we would go to each other’s birthday parties, wearing flouncy party dresses, and I’d have special ribbons in my hair.

Then they grew up. Or rather we all did, but I got a little left behind, seeing as they started getting dressed up to go out for the evenings, which was not something I was allowed to do.

I remember the first time I went to a ‘disco’ was on a school trip when we were 11 years old. I was so excited to wear my special rainbow dress and suede pixie boots! And to get dressed up with no mum!

When we all sat our GCSEs, that final year of formal school there was a Commemoration Ball, where the final year girls were invited, and you could bring a date (Well, no way was that going to happen!) and everyone was so excited about the ball dresses they were going to be wearing. I longed for that kind of princess look, which wasn’t going to happen…

But, at university, I was able to attend a couple of balls, and as I had grown up a bit by then, I was embracing my culture more, so to the first one, we all went in beautiful Indian outfits! And I did that for a few of them. At my Hubby Dearest’s end-of-year ball, I wore a more formal western dress, which sated my longing for a proper dress!

But I did get to look like a princess once, at least, on my own wedding day!

I wish I had the energy to find more photos but they are all in boxes and out of reach at the moment!

Dang! I missed it again yesterday and no doubt that will be the sign of things to come since I am back at school from Tuesday! Still, I hope you enjoyed it!

One-Liner Wednesday – Denim Blues

“Shopping for jeans is officially my new form of HELL!”

Ritu Bhathal

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds

#TankaTuesday Weekly #Poetry #ThemePrompt Challenge No. 286, 8/23/22, #LessonsFrom Nature

It’s been a while, but I thought I would take part in the syllabic poetry challenge, Colleen hosts every week! Sorry I have been gone so long, again, Sis!

Lessons from nature

Use the theme above to write your choice of syllabic poem. Your poem must include or be about a lesson from nature.

Colleen Chesebro
Today’s poem is inspired by this photo I took, last week
We should persevere
Mother Nature tells us so
Grow, no matter what
Difficulties will appear
Solutions come from within

Ritu 2022

One simple, but strong Sunflower standing tall, despite the heatwave and water shortages.

Chai And A Chat #200 #ChaiAndAChat

Hi there, Peeps! It’s the 200th episode of our Chai and A Chat sessions, can you believe it? And look at me, late again! But, I have a good excuse. We were at a family wedding all weekend, and I have only been home for a short while, so I am catching up, now!

I have a cup of soothing Indian chai… hoe you’ve got a drink, too!

  • If we were having chai, I’d tell you That this week has flown by, as usual. After finishing my first draft, I spent a while finding some alpha readers for book 2. This time, the issues I write about are more specific, so I wanted sensitive readers to give me their feedback. 1 out of the three has started reading, and can I just say, I am so grateful to him for what he has come back to me with, so far! The last thing I want to do is fall into stereotypes or not deal with the issues at hand with no sensitivity! And I printed the manuscript off so I can have my own first proper readthrough!
  • If we were having chai, I’d have to say that I am still getting some lovely feedback from readers for Marriage Unarranged, and I am touched by the words of these fantastic people!
  • If we were having chai, I’d say that Lil Princess has been asking to go for walks with me so we have been taking short strolls around the neighbourhood. The lack of rain was evident, with parched fields, but there was one field with a few random sunflowers standing tall. They felt like a beacon of hope.
  • If we were having chai, I would share with you that we attended a wedding. Stick with me, here, my brother-in-law’s wife’s sister was getting married. We haven’t attended a wedding for around 4 years, and for my in-laws that was the first proper outing they have had since before lockdown, and Mum’s knee ops. I was excited, but actually worried because I have put on so much weight, and I didn’t have the time to get new outfits. I was more concerned with Lil Princess having some lovely things to wear! So the sucky in pants came out, and I had to have one outfit adjusted, but well, I got there! We had a couple of nights out, too, so we didn’t have to do too many, long-distance drives late at night. It was a beautiful weekend and everyone was able to celebrate, let their hair down, eat, drink and be merry! Pops and Mum even attended the reception, too!
  • If we were having chai, I’d tell you that we had a cricket-less week, apart from training, due to the wedding. Lil Man wasn’t that impressed, but he has rediscovered his love of Bhangra music, and he danced all through the party and reception! When we got home, he even took out his old dhol drum and had a play about on it. The first time in over 2 years! This wedding was good for everyone for so many different reasons!
  • If we were having chai, I would end, as always, with Sonu Singh. He was alone for a couple of nights, but not in a row. We have an automatic feeder, with a camera and microphone, so we could speak to him, and left him with lights and plenty of water. As usual, he wasn’t impressed, and he tried to get into our bags, but ended up plumping for the tissue box, in the end. We missed him so much, bless him!

This week is my last week off before the school year starts again. I have no major plans, other than to mentally prepare myself, and a trip to Bluewater with Lil Princess one day!

And while you’re here, did you sign up for my mailing list? I am in the middle of writing an exclusive Chickpea Curry Lit story for my subscribers, and there will be news, tips and even recipes! You know you want to join… go on! Click the pic below to sign up!

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 389 – Wedding Fun!

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“I always cry at weddings. They’re beautiful and I’m always moved.”

Jennifer Westfeldt

Thank you, Spidey, for a lovely quote!

We attended a wedding, yesterday, after quite a few years, what with lockdown, covid, etc.

I love a good wedding.

We used to attend them all the time when I was growing up, but less so, since I got married, as my Hubby Dearest’s family is quite small in comparison to mine, and also because we are further away from my family, now so attending all the weddings is not feasible.

Anyway, back to yesterday.

As I watched sever parts of the marriage ceremony, I felt a different emotional pull at certain points. The time when, in our Sikh ceremony, the bride’s father stands up and takes one end of the palla, or scarf that is draped around the groom’s neck and hands it to his daughter, signifying that you are now going to be walking together, through life with this guy, and you won’t be my little girl anymore.

I had tears in my eyes, not because I was thinking of myself, but it hit me that one day Lil Princess will be in that position…

This time, I really listened to the granthi, the priest, as he recited from the Guru Granth Sahib at the time of the ceremony and the words of the inevitable uncle-ji who stands up and gives a sikhya (speech or set of lessons about marriage) and I thought how his message hadn’t changed in all the years I’ve been attending marriages, but equally, I also dug deeper into the ‘advice’ and how it wasn’t always promoting the equality that Sikhism is based on.

The bride was addressed and was advised to compromise on things that weren’t to her liking because that’s the best way.

The groom was told to be a Man, providing for his family.

(Simple contraction of a 15-minute long speech!)

It made me wonder what the younger generation would think as they listened (because the guy spoke in both Punjabi and English).

There are more youngsters who might not look outwardly Sikh or fully baptised, but many are more versed in the ins and outs of our teachings, thanks to some fantastic people out there who you can follow on Social Media.

And some of those words, said in respect and blessing, could be looked upon as interpreting the words of our Gurus in their own way, and putting the bride at home and the groom to work, rather than the equality that our religion actually speaks of.

It shouldn’t all fall on the groom’s shoulders to provide.

Neither should the compromise be just the bride’s sacrifice.

I can hear these words being said in a different way, to me on my own wedding day, and I never really thought about the implications. Today, as a much more grown-up woman, it made me pause, and think, “What advice are we giving our young couples? is it the right thing to say?”

Marriage is a compromise. 100%, but the compromise should come from both parties. And you can work, together, as a couple, to fulfil your life dreams.

I am going to stop rambling because I have to go and get ready for the wedding reception, now!

But, before I leave, how have your thoughts on marriage changed over the years?

namaste

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

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