Humour | But I Smile Anyway...

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – Jan. 3rd/17 – Warning

03 Jan 2017 34 Comments

by Ritu in #jusjojan, Challenges, Humour, Poems Tags: #jusjojan, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Linda G Hill, warning

Day 3 of the #JusJoJan challenge by Linda G Hill

The Just Jot It January 3rd prompt, brought to you by Dan Antion, of the blog “No Facilities,” is: “Warning.” Use it any way you’re inspired to. And make sure you stop by and say hi to Dan as well! Here’s his blog: https://nofacilities.com/

A twisted little limerick take on Jack and Jill! Sorry, not quite sure how my mind ended up on this, considering the prompt word!

Jack, Jill and Bill

There was a young girl called Jill
Who, with Jack, always went up the hill
Then one sunny morning
Without any warning
She went, instead, with Bill!

Poor Jack was broken hearted
How had all this started?
That bump to the head
Had confined him to bed
Was this why they parted?

Now this Bill, he was a stunner
But Jack, oh he was fun-ner
Bill loved his pouting
Jill started doubting
And so she did a runner!

Well, Jack is back with Jill
They don’t go to that hill
Another they found
Less hill, more mound
But still as much of a thrill!

Ritu 2017

It’s Been a Cold Week!

04 Dec 2016 21 Comments

by Ritu in Humour, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Cold, Frost, Humour, Windscreen, Winter

We’ve had some really frosty weather here this week, you know, temperatures hitting below freezing.

Pretty icy ferns inside my car!!

I have had to scrape ice off the windscreen at least twice!

Now I am firmly a ‘spray with de-icer and scrape’ kinda girl, but my sis in law usually splashes lukewarm water over hers and is good to go. Her father is a car salesman with his won garage, and he swears by it.

So, on the second day, I thought ‘why not try it, and filled a bottle with warn water, and got ready to pour and leave with speed.

2016-11-30_20-13-48

And this happened. The frost lay on the ground ‘deep and crisp and even’, it was -3.5 degrees celsius, and my windscreen was a sheet of ice!

Why?

Because no one told me I needed to actually stick the wipers on while pouring!

Spent another 10 minutes dislodging ice instead of frost off the windscreen instead!

Women drivers eh!!!

Anomaly #writephoto

03 Nov 2016 41 Comments

by Ritu in Challenges, Fiction, Humour, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: #WritePhoto, Blog, Blog Posts, Blogger, Blogging, Challenge, Fiction, Humour, Leprachaun, Sue Vincent

Sue’s photo prompt this week…

anomaly

And my take…

“Now dat,” Dermot said, indicating to the streak of rainbow, suspended in front of them “Dat is de work of a master.”

“A master what?” Paddy asked “A master of stupidity?”

The Local Leprachaun Society had been meeting here at this pub for many years, whenever one of them had created a new rainbow. Every nuance of the phenomenon was discussed, minute details picked apart.

Dermot sighed. “He’ll be here soon enough.”

Sure enough, the door swung open and Seamus sauntered in. He sat down and was promptly thwacked around the head by Paddy.

“What was dat fer?” he scowled, rubbing the back of his balding pate.

“Feast yer eyes on dat beauty, and you’ll see fer yerself!” Paddy pointed to the rainbow.

Seamus trained his eye on the colours, and realisation dawned on him.

“De curve, man! Where’s de curve?” Paddy was in full flow “Ye know de rainbow needs an arc! It helps us hide de crock of gold from de hunters! Optical illusions, dat’s what we are about, and you go and create de world’s first feckin’ vertical one! Might as well place a flashin’ sign above it, saying “Nick Me!” ya eejat!”

And another thwack was felt on the back of his head…

Injury Report #3429 (It’s Been A While!)

11 Aug 2016 44 Comments

by Ritu in Humour, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Clumsy, injury, Shahi Paneer

You know me Peeps, I am not exactly the most poised of people.

Yes, I did ballet. (And in my ballet recital improvisation in front of the parents, I was… a ‘mad scientist’ apparently! Ask 4 year-old Ritu, I haven’t a clue!)

Yes, I won an award for gymnastics (and tripped up the steps to the stage when I went to receive it!)

But grace somehow eludes me at the best of times.

And common sense too.

You know when you go to do something, and your brain is saying “Not a good idea!”, normal people step back.

Now, when did I EVER profess to be normal? I usually plough ahead, and then something happens.

Like it did the other evening, while I was cooking.

Heating up a Shahi Paneer curry (recipe here, if you’re interested!)for Hubby Dearest, I saw that it needed a stir. Did I reach for the spoon, merely inches away from me?

No! Don’t be silly! Why not pick up the rather hot pan, and swirl it around?

This is why not…

Big splash of boiling curry sauce launched itself at me and my arm.

OUCH!

I have a lovely mild burn on my arm now. It’s sore!

Next time Peeps, Ritu WILL use a spoon!

(And don’t ask about my bruised waist… Oh, ok then! I have started using my weighted hula hoop again, and 3 days of swinging it around has caused bruising up both sides of my waist! Painful!)

Fat Free Friday!

22 Apr 2016 37 Comments

by Ritu in Humour, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, hmour, Weight Loss

Here’s to all of us tryin to shift those lbs…

Ok so it’s friday!

Since the day I made an executive decision that I need to lose so over this early spare lbs, I have been pretty good… (Apart from a chocolate bar on the first day,and a huge bowl,of ice cream on the second, oops!)

That leaves yesterday, and I was 100% on track!

Hopefully I can crack the snacking naughtiness and it will happen!!!!