I realise that I haven’t really mentioned work much, considering it is only a few days to our first half term vacation.

Besides being tired, I have been settling Lil Man into his new school and dealing with secondary homework, learning how to remember which books or sports kit is needed on each day, and generally learning to let go…

It hasn’t helped the last week, where the whole ‘Killer-Clown’ craze has gone wild on Social Media, so the kids are showing each other messages and photos, and spreading stories of impending clown visits to schools. Lil Man finds it hard to sleep, worrying about it. But on the flip side, he wants to be strong enough to fight his corner, if he was to be apprehended by a curly haired joker…

So, back to my daily grind…

If last year was a Baptism of Fire, with some real tough characters, this year is almost the flip-reverse!

Now, I’m not saying I am teaching a whole class of advanced angels who can all read and write already, and have the social skills of adults, but there is a world of difference between the two cohorts of children!

Yes, we have many with language barriers, from Punjabi to Hindi, Polish to Slovakian, Russian and Latvian, Greek and Albanian, and the odd English speaker too!

Yes, there is the strong chance of a couple of children with special needs, ADHD or Speech impediments,

Yes, there are some children with behaviour issues, those who are not used to sharing, or anyone saying no to them.

But they are manageable!

They have their quirks too. I have one who comes up and randomly kisses whatever part of the body he sees, so far kisses have graced my knee, shoulder, bosom and even my bum!

We have had criers, who could sob, or wail for 2 hours, giving us headaches, then stop, as if a switch flicked, leaving us wondering what went on!

Nappy-gate is still here, we have a serial pooper, who has gone from the nappy to little slips in his new pants. There is the one whose mummy can’t bear him to have an accident, so sends him in nappies, then asks us to take it off… Bless him, he is so good at going toilet, oh ye mother of little faith! And we have already trained one,who now proudly announces she needs a “widdle”!

Talking of the toilet, and down ‘below’, I am intrigued as to what conversations may be like in some households. Maybe I am wrong, but when referring to our ‘bits and pieces’, we use soft terms, you know, willy, and winky, or pom-pom and floof…

The other day one of my little 3-year-olds came up to me and told me her f*nny was hurting! And today (forgive me, bad teacher, but I really wanted to laugh!) one of my little charges needed the loo, after wriggling around on the carpet, trying to hold it in. I followed him, to make sure he was ok. I did call after him, to ask and he answered “I’m just getting my d*ck out!” Said in such a matter of fact way, I didn’t know what to say!

Suffice to say, I haven’t been driven to drink so far this term, an improvement on last year!