Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 130

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“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael.J. Fox

Well, considering I’m leaving my parents today, after a week with them, to head back home, I think Spidey found a lovely quote!

You all know how much family means to me. My own little family of 5 (Me, Hubby Dearest, two 2 legged babies and one 4 legged one), my parents, my in-laws, and all the rest of the extended family too.

And I honestly believe that I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where I am in life today of it wasn’t for each and every member of that family.

Together, they have helped to mould me into the woman I am today. Stronger because of troubles that have come my way, compassionate because of helping others through struggles, happy because I have always had the love and support I needed right there beside me.

My family truly is everything to me. Without them I am nothing.

Have a wonderful week Peeps!

Beneath The Apple Blossom – Kate Frost #BookReview

Another week of the holidays done, another book read.

A while back (possibly even a year back), I read an interview with an author called Kate Frost. Her then newly released book, Beneath The Apple Blossom, looked to be something that would be of interest to me.

The Blurb:

Four women, linked by blood ties, friendship, betrayal, loss and hope, struggle with the choices they’ve made and the hand that life’s dealt them.

All Pippa’s ever wanted is marriage and kids, but at thirty-four and about to embark on IVF, her dream of having a family is far from certain. Her younger sister Georgie has the opposite problem, juggling her career, her lover, a young daughter and a husband who wants baby number two.

Pippa’s best friend Sienna has a successful career in the film world, and despite her boyfriend pressurising her to settle down, a baby is the last thing she wants. Happily married Connie shares the trauma of fertility treatment with Pippa, but underestimates the impact being unable to conceive will have on her and her marriage.

As their lives collide in a way they could never have predicted, will any of them get to see their hopes realised?

As I read it I was amazed at how emotional it made me feel. I remembered the time when we were struggling. The anacronyms like 2ww and BFN and BFP flooded back, as I remembered the wonderful forum I had joined when we were struggling with conceiving, and after, for the support of others in the same situation.

It’s true though, not every woman wants to be a mother. And not everyone can make a good one either.

But the pain that accidental pregnancies can cause to others, I’ve experienced that too, while we were in the midst of our own journey. Hearing about someone talking about a baby that wasn’t expected or wanted, was like a knife being plunged into my womb, and twisted. Yes

Yes.

It felt that extreme.

Yet when there were others who were expecting, and it was a much longed for baby, I was overjoyed for the parents-to-be.

Deep down I knew that one day, our turn would come. And it did, twice, with two angel babies in between.

Beneath the Apple Blossom: The Hopeful Years Book 1 by [Frost, Kate]

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My reviews on Amazon and Goodreads:

What a great book!
Having been through fertility struggles of my own, it was amazing how I related to a lot of the issues faced by 2 of the main characters in this book.
It’s very true, that as much as some women crave to be mothers, there are those that really don’t feel it’s for them, and this book explored both sides of the same coin.
The realistic writing brought back some painful memories for me, but also that sense of camaraderie that I too felt in a very special online forum that I had also joined while trying to conceive.

Buy it on Amazon here.

One-Liner Wednesday – Home = #1LinerWeds

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“Back home… Mum’s cooking… bliss!”

Yes, Peeps. I am with the folks for a week, enjoying the fact I can regress to being a child once more, with my parents around me. Days to be treasured. ❤

 

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds Challenge!

A Saree Story #SundayBlogShare

The other day I posted a photo on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXJnUcyjFV6/?taken-by=phantom_giggler

Yes, that is me, all glammed up for an engagement party we attended.

Aside from all the lovely compliments I received, someone mentioned the colour of the saree, and how lovely it was.

I replied that the story of my saree could be a post of it’s own so here goes!

Way back, before the days of me planning to get married, my family went to Kenya to to attend a wedding. It was the wedding of my cousin, my mum’s niece. My dear maternal grandma was still around at that time, and she decided to open one of her trunks (a special occasion indeed! Nanima’s Sandookh(trunk) contained some beautiful treasures!) to gift her granddaughters.

She pulled out some plain chiffon lengths. They were 6-metre sarees, of a quality that is not seen nowadays. One was black, and one was a lurid orangey/peachy colour, Kind of like this . Add a bit more fluorescent orange to it and you get the picture/colour?

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Well, my other cousin chose the black one, and left me sitting with my sweet smiling grandma, and a fluorescent saree. I was never one to complain, or to get my way, if it meant conflict, so I gratefully took the fabric, hugging my darling Nanima too.

Little did I know that I wouldn’t see her after this trip, as she passed away. I handed the saree to my mum for safe-keeping. Even she giggled a little, looking at the colour!

Fast forward to my wedding planning, and shopping in India. I had my wedding outfit planned in my head, and we had spoken to a tailor about that. WE had bought two lengths of good quality chiffon in black and a pale gold, which I was getting embroidered so I had some personalised sarees. After choosing the patterns, my mum flung something else on the shop counter.

Now to set the scene, shopping in India is a whole other world. If you are from a rich family, or from abroad, it is pretty cool. Basically you get treated like royalty! There will be outfits, fabrics and accessories that materialise from God knows where, if they know you are going to buy! The boys in the shop are experts at tying sarees, and becoming live mannequins too, so if you want to know what something would look like, you need no mirror, just your eyes!

You have sofas to sit and lounge on, cold drinks are brought for you at your request, or a cup of chai. and if you were spending enough, and coming in regularly enough, there was food too! It is wonderful to come into an air-conditioned shop after the heat of the Delhi summer, and to have refreshments waiting, bliss! ( The family at this shop were lovely! They even invited us to their home for dinner, and took us out! Yes, we did spend quite a bit with them!)

Anyway, at this particular shop, where we spent the most of our time, and money, mum decided to bust out the orange saree! I had almost forgotten about it, but the colour brought the memory of who gave it to me flooding back. I looked at mum and felt a little teary. I wanted to have something like this from Nanima to remember her, but for the life of me, I wasn’t going to wear that colour!

Mum asked the man what he could do with this, expecting him to show us some interesting designs of embroidery that would make it more acceptable to me to wear. He looked at it, looked at us and said “Good quality chiffon. Why don’t you dye it?”

Dye it!

What a great idea! Why hadn’t we even thought of that? That meant I could still have the fabric from my Nanima, and I would have a saree that I could wear happily too!

My Hubby Dearest, hubby-to-be at the time, had one request, when I had asked him if there was anything I should buy, clothes wise. A dark blue saree.

So the choice of colour was made! We then decided on a same colour flora sequinned pattern which was hand sewn and the saree above was created!

It has been 16 year since that was made for me, and I have worn it on and off. Each time I do, I remember Nanima.

When my mum saw the photo she said ” That saree was nice, which one is that? When did you get it?” I answered her in disbelief! “Mother, can you not remember? Nani’s orange monstrosity?? We dyed it, didn’t we?”

Then it came back to her. She was happy to see me still wearing it too. (Glad it still fit me, to be honest!)

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So there you have it, the story of my Nani’s saree!

Those fantastic trips to Kenya! #ThrowbackThursday

Mum and Pops were born in Kenya but settled here in the UK in the early 70’s.  Quite a lot of our family had also moved out, but there was, and still is a sizeable amount still there, so we would spend 4-5 weeks every other summer out there, keeping our links with our family open.

They were were both born in a small farming village called Kibos, near Kisumu, and Lake Victoria.  The farming there was mainly sugar cane. Both families had farms so we would love to go and stay there.  This picture below shows my family with my mums grand mother, my great grandmother, God rest her soul, she was with us until she was 104 years old!

 

With my darling Great grandmother

With my darling Great grandmother

I always remember a giant Bamboo tree in the garden that we used to play around, and sit under, but I was always slightly scared, as we had been told there were snakes in it too!  I never actually saw one though!  And my grandfather loved gardening so he had a small fruit yard too, and we would wake to eat the most amazing fresh Papayas for breakfast, picked that morning!

We would spend a lot of time at my Pops family farm too, down the road, and that is a picture of me, my brother and my maternal cousins, on the back of a pick up truck. In those days, no one had any fear, we would all pile into the back and go cruising around!  They had dogs, and chickens, and I remember loving their dog Lassie, until she died while having puppies.  I thing subconsciously I stopped liking dogs then, not because I had a fear of them, but I developed a fear of attachment… and losing someone… There was so much space to run around, we would make mud pies if it rained, as the rain was warm, and fun!

Around the corner was another household full of kids, Baaji’s house. Baaji, was at 70ish, my oldest cousin! Yes cousin! He had kids and grandkids, and great grand kids, which meant I was given an elevated status, relationship wise from a very young age!  We would walk through the sugar cane fields to their house and spend the days playing, and drinking Coke and Fanta from glass bottles, and having such fun! The time would disappear, and it would be dark before we knew it, and the adults would have been despatched to round us up, ready to go to our homes!

Occasionally we would have weddings to go to, and they were such fun affairs there, all out in the open, riding from one farm to another in our pick up trucks, or piled on top of one another in the back of cars. The parties were outdoors, music blaring, food a plenty, being cooked on a chula outside, the men cracking open beers, or something stronger. Singing and dancing, oh such memories!

Opposite Pops farm was a set of hills. At the uppermost point was a huge stone coked Monkey Stone. It was a day trip to get up there, part drive, part climb. I was never old enough to go, when trips were arranged, and when I was old enough, no one wanted to go! Usually folk would pack a picnic and leave early in the morning, have a stop and eat lunch, then make their way up. It was called Monkey Stone because the route was full of baboons! Once you got to the top, it was customary to write your name on the stone, and take pictures, obviously! I was gutted I never got a chance! One day maybe…!

 

Our more of transport, at the back of a pick up truck!

Our mode of transport, at the back of a pick up truck!

My uncles, my mum’s brothers, lived in a town a couple of hours away, in a place called Eldoret.  My grandfather, after leaving his brothers in charge at the farm in Kibos, bought a huge wheat plantation in Eldoret, with a beautiful farm house slap bang in the middle of the farm. There, he created the most amazing gardens, rose gardens, and a huge allotment for home use. He grew all manner of fruit and vegetables there.  Nanaji (my Granddad)  loved dogs, and he had many, as pets, then the more vicious ones as guard dogs. This love of animals was carried forward by my uncles, who kept many dogs, and still do, even when Nanaji passed away. My Nanima, God rest her soul, loved gardens too, and after the loss of her husband, she would tend to the roses and flowers… She loved us and the gardens equally I think! I feel a funny story coming on…

One year when I was around 15, my cousin had a small 50cc motorbike for riding around the farm. She said she would teach me how to ride it, and I was like, yeah ok!  So I got on, started welt straight, for all of 5 seconds, veered right and ended up in the flower bed… Nanima rushed out to me, I thought, but no, she pulled me out and started fussing over the bush!  Still, she did ask if I was ok, about 15 minutes later! Love her to bits!

Oh, and I can’t forget the matching outfits! Mum had 2 nieces, one my age, and one my brother’s age. Without fail, each time we were due to go, she’d buy clothes for us girls, matching outfits, and we loved looking like matching (but not, if you know what I mean!) triplets… Until we hit the teen years, then it was like “Mum! Stop with the bulk buying now!!!” Obviously my brother got away with being individual… I’m not sure though, he would have suited some if these outfits! 😜

At Lake Baringo with our patching outfits.. oh and my brother!

At Lake Baringo with our matching outfits.. oh and my brother!

We would take trips to Lake Baringo, a lake with hippos and crocodiles in it. There as an island in the middle where there was a permanent campsite set up, we stayed there several times in tents, amazed and equally horrified by the size of the centipedes and milipedes that we would find!

They had a swimming pool at the top of the island where we would go and chill.  And you could go on a boat ride around the island, and visit the hot springs that were there at the other side. If you felt too sophisticated to camp, there was the Lake Baringo Club you could stay at instead, situated on the banks of the lake, with chalet style rooms, and you could go on day trips to the island, or just relax there at the Club, indulging in good food, drink and a great swimming pool!

One time we stayed there, and I was in a room with my cousin of the same age. We felt very grown up, no adults in our room with us, and we left the dining room ahead of everyone else, so we could go chill, and generally plan mischief without anyone. Unbeknownst to us, our chalet was the only one with a yellow bulb in the light outside, all the others were white. This attracted many critters that we didn’t want near us, and when we got to our room, there were 2 snakes, a couple of rather large lizards, and many flying things, BIG things around our front door! We hared back to the dining room, and grabbed an adult to help us remove these creatures, and to help us get in our room. So this was done, and my uncle let us in locked the door, and left, saying they’d all be back on half an hour.  Well, he wasn’t to know, but he let in a HUGE dragonfly, which buzzed at us. He wanted to get out, but we couldn’t do anything, all the windows had mesh on them, and the door was locked! We sat under a mosquito net, on our beds, holding each other, crying and shouting out for anyone to hear, like big sissies! The rest of the family arrived to find us screaming, hoarsely in our rooms, gibbering messes… We didn’t feel too grown up after that!!

A little older on a boat at Lake Turkana, the largest freshwater lake in East Africa, I think!

A little older on a boat at Lake Turkana, the largest freshwater lake in East Africa, I think!

On one of my last trips there, I was around 16 and we went way up North to Lake Turkana. This is the largest freshwater lake in Kenya, and set in desert like surroundings. It was an experience… And aside from the house we stayed in, there were very few modern amenities… Not fun if you had a dodgy tummy and weren’t home… Get what I mean! That’s me and my cousins enjoying a boat trip on the lake, feeling rather cool! I think we might have been trying to sign 2 Legit 2 Quit!!

My last trip was the December of 1997, a long time ago… My cousin was getting married. It was a bitter sweet trip. 2 weeks of celebrations and sadness at an era nearing its end.

I didn’t know then that I wouldn’t be going back any time soon, that this would be the last time I saw my grandma, my only surviving grandparent… That Pops family farm would get sold, that slowly the same would happen to mums family farm, that things would change so much…

I loved my summers there so much, I wish dearly to be able to take Hubby Dearest and the sprogs there one day. It won’t be the same, but I hope I can one day…..

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