Family | But I Smile Anyway...

The Just Jot It January 13th prompt, brought to you by Charlene Bullard of FaithtoRaiseNate.com, is: “Hospital.” Use it any way you’re inspired to. And make sure you stop by and say hi to Charlene as well! Here’s her blog: http://faithtoraisenate.com/ .

The word hospital seems pretty apt to me right now.

I can’t even remember if I mentioned our relationship with the local hospital, or medical care around here recently.

Well, in case I didn’t say anything, it feels like our family, or Lil Man and Hubby Dearest in particular, have been very cosy with the hospital of late.

Before Christmas, on the 1st December, to be exact, Lil Man sustained a head injury. He was hit rather hard by a football in the face, and it, in turn, caused mild concussion.

Mild, they say.

Well, it knocked him for six, and he was off school for over a week because of the headaches and pain.

The local hospital was visited, then the larger Accident and Emergency department was visited when the pains didn’t decrease. This was followed by a visit to a very unhelpful locum GP in our family doctor’s surgery.

It was a worrying time for us, as Lil Man may be little, but he is a robust child and loves to go to school. He is conscientious and would get up every day, change into his uniform, and attempt to go to school but the pain would be too much.

Thankfully he is better now, and the headaches have gone!

But the end of 2016 didn’t see the end of hospital visits.

Last week, on Thursday morning, I heard a blood-curdling scream from Lil Man’s room.

I came in to find him in tears, and the door from his wardrobe on the floor.

Apparently, he had opened his sliding door, which had come off the runners and landed on his foot!

The poor love couldn’t walk on it!

Again, he tried to go to school, but couldn’t walk more than a few steps.

So, that was another day at home, and a visit to the local hospital again, to check for broken bones!

He hates the hospital!

Luckily it was just deep tissue bruising, and seemed to clear up relatively quickly.

Then, on Monday morning, he woke up with back, rib, shoulder and neck ache… Oh dear God, what was going on with this boy?!

Again, he got up, wincing in pain, dosed up on Junior paracetamol, and went off to school, only for me to get a call ten minutes later from my mother in law to say he was back home. Again, he tried to get to school but couldn’t move properly!

I was fearing another trip to the hospital, but today he got up, still in a little pain, and went to school. He seems better tonight. I really don’t know whether he strained a muscle, spelt funny, caught a cold, or if it is viral pain, but what I do know is that Lil Man has had his fair share of issues now, and we would very much like a clear run of time now, with no illnesses, injuries and visits to any more hospitals!

My husband’s brother’s wife’s uncle!

14 Dec 2016 100 Comments

by Ritu in Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blogging, confused, confusing, Culture, Family, Harsh Reality, Punjab, Punjabi, Relation Names, Relationships

I’ve treated myself to a bit of a cultural education this week.

Now I’ve always known that in Punjabi, we have specific names for different relations, so, with one word we can convey exactly how someone is related to us, more or less.
In English, if I said Aunty, you would need to ask how, so I’d have to explain she’s my mother’s sister, or mothers brothers wife, etc. why use do many words, when just one can convey so much?

I thought I’d give you all a lesson in Punjabi relation names!

Your nuclear family
Mataji/Maaji – mother
Pitaji/Papaji – father
Veerji/bhraji – brother
Bhenji/Didi – sister
Pati – husband
Patni – wife
Soura – father in law
Saas – mother in law
Jijaji – sister’s husband
Bhabiji – brother’s wife

Let’s go one step further
Nanaji – Maternal grandfather
Naniji – Maternal grandmother
Dadaji/Babaji – Paternal grandfather
Dadiji/Bibiji- Paternal grandfather

So,then there is
Pota – grandson, son’s son
Poti – grand daughter, son’s daughter
Dota – grandson, daughter’s son
Doti – grand daughter, daughter’s daughter

A step further? Ok,
Par Nanaji – maternal great grandfather
Par Nanaji – maternal great grandmother
Par Dadaji – paternal great grandfather
Par Dadiji – paternal great grandmother

Which needs
Parota – great grandson
Paroti – great granddaughter

Uncles and aunts? Yup, heck I’m just getting started!!
Tayaji – paternal uncle, Father’s older brother
Taiyji – paternal aunt, father’s older brother’s wife
Chachaji – paternal uncle, father’s younger brother
Chachiji – paternal aunt, father’s younger brother’s wife
Bhuaji – paternal aunt, father’s sister
Phupherji – paternal uncle, father’s sister’s husband
Mamaji – maternal uncle, mother’s brother
Mamiji – maternal aunt, mother’s brother’s wife
Masiji – maternal aunt, mother’s sister
Maserji – maternal uncle, mother’s sister’s husband

Then you need nephews and nieces!
Bhatija – nephew, brother’s son
Bhatiji – niece, brother’s daughter
Bhanja – nephew, sister’s son
Bhanji – niece, sister’s daughter

Cool? Confused yet? No? Ok, more!!!
Jeth – husband’s older brother
Jethani – husband’s older brother’s wife
Deor/devar – husband’s younger brother
Darani/de rani – husband’s younger brother’s wife
Nanaan – husband’s sister
Nandoya – husband’s sister’s husband
Saala – wife’s brother
Salehaar – wife’s brother’s wife
Saali – wife’s sister
Sadu – wife’s sister’s husband

Phew!!

Now, I already knew most of these. I’ve grown up with them, and apart from one or two which I checked with my mother in law (MIL) I was quite impressed with myself! Then she opened a whole other can of worms! There were more differentiated names ??!! Really? I thought that was plenty! Oh no, there are different names for your husband’s family too! Plus she didn’t know all of them, but if I learned something new, I’ll share with you too!

Dadora – husband’s paternal grandgather
Dadez – husband’s paternal grandmother
Nanora – husband’s maternal grandfather
Nanez – husband’s maternal grandmother
Malora – husband’s maternal uncle
Mamez – husband’s maternal uncle’s wife

That’s all she knew, and she offered to find out more, but by the. My head was buzzing!!!! I know some of you will think, OMG!! I’ll stick to uncle, aunt, cousin etc… But isn’t it great that with one word I can tell you so much about that person and their connection to me? Granted it doesn’t always trip off the tongue. I have to think and double check, but I love it! One day my children will fully understand it too… I hope!!

I love my culture!!
P.S. Did I miss anything??

Oh Brother!

10 Dec 2016 26 Comments

by Ritu in Family Tags: Brother, Family, kids, Memories

One from the Archives

Image from Google

Some days, I sit here, wanting to tear my hair out, watching the little people squabble with each other. “Mummy!!!!! He changed the channel!” “Mummy! she touched my light sabers!” “Mummy!! He said a bad word!”( usually something REALLY bad, like… Stupid!) I often tell them I’ve changed my name, mummy isn’t here, sort it out yourselves. Many times I have screamed like a banshee (not that it works), and am on the point of pulling my hair out, when I remember…

*dream sequence/flashback*
Many years ago, it was my poor, long suffering mother in the same position, being the referee between my Darling Brother and I!

Oh my! The feelings were sometimes bordering on pure hatred between us, well, with the limited emotional experience at the tender ages of 6 and 9, this was as strong a hatred as we probably knew (for our sibling, oh and also for things like vegetables)!

The fighting over the best seat in the living room, the last chocolate… Actually, scrap that. Do you know what? Thinking back, I know that we had that all typical big sister/little brother relationship, full of petty squabbles, pushes and shoves, but I really can’t remember any one time that made my blood boil! Ask the 15 year old me that same question, and I’d probably have a list a mile long!

The things I remember, are how cute he actually was, even in anger! His obsession with being a policeman, carrying a toy gun everywhere. In fact we were at the airport, about to board a flight to visit family in Kenya and he sparked an alert! So said ‘toy’ gun got confiscated, and he never got it back!

And when my Big Sister love and protective instinct really kicked in! Those who know me, know I am a pretty chilled person, not argumentative, or confrontational at all, but one day, at a cousin’s house, I was chatting with my girl cousins and he was outside with the boyz. I overheard someone saying something to him, and honestly, I can’t remember what, but the feeling of ‘ how dare you say that to MY brother!’ kicked in. I rushed outside, and squared up to said cousin, and said “how dare you say…(whatever) to my brother?” And promptly punched him in the mouth! So now I can say, not with great pride, that I gave someone a bloody mouth with one punch! This lovely cousin and I reminisce and laugh over it now! He’s a dad of 2 now and so calm, and peaceful, but then, he was like a whirlwind, a Tasmanian Devil, always getting up to mischief!

My brother and I grew up, he went to boarding school, I was at home then went off to university. This was when our relationship really started to change. He started asking my opinion, and, sometimes, valuing my advice. And I realized that this little brother was not so little anymore. He sometimes even talked sense!!! Slowly my brother was becoming a young man. Interested in girls, going out with the lads, and he’d tell me about things going on in his life.

We started to share our little secrets with each other, and we weren’t judging one another, we were being each other’s support. And this has continued. He’s been living abroad for a while now. He travelled around after I got married, did things I didn’t get a chance to do… Lived in Dubai, met his would-be wife, and now is settled in Finland.

We don’t get to chat as often as I’d like, and seeing each other face to face… hardly! But, as I posted before, Skype is a great thing! I love him to bits, and my wonderful sister-in-law too. Wouldn’t change them for anything… However, if I could change anything, it would be their location! Nearer us, with my beautiful nephew would be great, but that’s not in my hands!

So thinking back to the start of this post, I know the monkeys are always at each others throats, at the moment, but if they have a relationship anything like me and my brother’s, it will be the most sacred, beautiful relationship around! Siblings… No one else can appreciate your family foibles like your siblings! And accept you for who you are.

Love you Darling Brother! 💞💕

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

10 Dec 2016 59 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Christmas, Christmas tree, Concussion, Family, kids, Sonu Singh

It’s taken a while, but we are finally with tree! 20161209_183837

What with Lil Man’s concussion, and a week of school, and oh so much ‘mum stress’ and worry, the Christmas tree, I’m afraid, took a back seat.

But yesterday evening, I came home to find a different child at home. Previously during the week, he had been really suffering from bad headaches, and was unable to get up, or do anything. Last night, however, he was so happy, helping me with housework, and even doing his homework!

The week was filled with hospital visits as his headache was no better, and he was waking each morning, conscious of missing school, but standing with silent tears falling due to the pain.

There were tears from me too… It is far too hard to see your child in pain, and not being able to do anything about it. We were lucky that Hubby Dearest works from home so he was at home with Lil Man, but it meant that I would come into work, and if anyone showed concern, I was a blubbering mess!

It didn’t help when the Locum Doctor at our surgery refused to acknowledge the concussion diagnosis by TWO hospital Dr’s and dismissed the whole thing as a headache because of the weather! And then he sent Hubby Dearest and Lil Man away saying he didn’t want them to waste anymore of his time! Seriously? This is a child with a diagnosed head injury??? We had been asked to go to our surgery to discuss next steps if the pain worsened. I wanted to hit someone (the doctor!) but I just cried instead!

Still, that is all a stress of the past now, and he seems so much more himself finally!

And Sonu Singh has been getting involved too, as usual!